I've never been stuck in such a confusing dream before; where everything I want and love with every fiber of my being, seems so near- yet so far.

Where every day seems to be a reminder of my limitations and why I can't give in to my impulses.

And this is that kind of dream;

where life seems to be getting a thrill from slamming me hard into rough walls one minute, only to make me see rainbows and unicorns in the next.

I easily lose my sense of self when the darkness threatens to consume me.

Just like I easily lose sense of rationality, when my mind and heart's fixations make me feel ecstatic enough to weep with the joy.

Even though this is a maze of confusion-with no sensible way forward, I know it's imperative that I keep moving.

Despite the blood,sweat, and tears that comes from the days that leave me feeling beaten.

Despite the love,joy,and ecstasy that I find myself enveloped in every time I'm on the verge of victory.

And just as my hand reaches out for understanding and all that's out of its grip,the sun decides to rise.

Forcing the enigmatic dream to end before I have a chance to find out who I am when I'm not stuck between the pleasure and pain......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................