Jane felt like she was going crazy.

　　Days blurring into one another, family going stir crazy, the world on edge. Except there in his embrace, her face snuggled into his chest, secure in his arms, watching a beautiful sunset, feeling the gentle breeze, entranced by the sound of small waves rolling to shore, like a soothing lullaby, she felt herself let out a sigh, her thoughts normally overthinking, over analyzing, were now quiet with just one thought, how this feels like heaven.

　　Jason's eyes to her were like a camera lens, preserving the soul of Mother Nature, the essences of a moment frozen in time, in this moment she was taking everything in, just holding each other, his breathing relaxed, his heart rate normal.

　　Jane felt her anxiety fade. Lovingly she noticed his eyes were really interesting, the outside ring of the iris was a mixture of silver specks with what looked to me like two tones of blue, closer to the pupil it had more of a gold speck with some green and brown, could of been that sunset on the beach, could have been his contacts, either way that night she knew she had fallen in love with him, but was to scared to say it, she couldn't bear to be rejected by him, she just kept holding on tight in that hug.

　　Jane was seeing him differently, noticed things she wasn't sure she really had before. Jason is about a foot taller then her, his hair when not in a pulled back is the same length as hers. Jason still his some of his muscle toned looked from being athletic, not really his charismatic self, recovering from a few injuries that never really healed, then isolated further by the pandemic, Jane knew all to well how she could have lost her best friend that night, how low he was feeling, grateful he called her, she understand the pain and the struggle of how badly life can be, how badly you just want pain to end, how sometimes when nothing else has worked that is when life doesn't seem worth enduring the pain anymore.

　　Jane knew it because she too had felt it, to want to end the pain of being bullied, unwanted, feeling unloved and worthless and how you long for relief and some hope, so there on the beach in silence they saved each other.

　　"Thank you" Jason spoke softly, he always laughs when Jane tells him that she loves his voice, one could describe it as sexy and soothing, "Thank you" Jane replied "I needed that" they said in unison.

　　"Let's just walk for a bit"  Jason suggested, "Sure" she replied, not sure why the hug ending felt so awkward for her. So they walked together for a while in silence listening to the sound of the waves.

　　Before coming they went to the beach they had decided to go to the Tim Hortons drive though, "what do you want?"  he asked as they pulled in almost to the speaker, " just a large triple, triple please, do you want my Tim's card?" She injured "I got this covered " In that moment she happen to look over and notice his enchanting smile. Jane couldn't help but smile back, he has one of those smiles that is contagious, Jane knew that understandly that for him, it is rare to smile so deeply with all his pain, everything he is going through sadly alone, all she wanted to do was make him happy, she would love to help him smile more.

　　How strange, she was feeling , Jane didn't fully remember feeling like this at 16, but some how with the shelter in place, the distancing measures and masks, this felt like sneaking out and breaking curfew, it's strange because that wasn't really like her, she didn't do that, Jane had permission, plus her ex didn't have a car or license at the time, they just walked, bused or one parent or grandparent would drive them if needed.

　　I am not really a rule breaker, Jane thought to herself, I challenge them, take part in community groups and meetings to help change them, but wasn't that interested in ever really breaking them, but when a really good friend like Jason texts you, suggesting self harm could occur you risk breaking rules to be there when the crisis lines are so busy with people hurting during this time of Cornia. I wanted to get him through this, I see him work hard for his wellness and as a empath I really want to help him get there, Jane thought to herself, she didn't want to lose her best friend, so drawn to him, all she wanted to do was make him happy and feel loved.

　　The silence was starting to fill with too many thoughts, for both of them.

　　Jane was feeling guilty about this small escape from away from her kids, the dog and sick husband, it was nice after what has it been? 3 months? The last so called normal day was a Friday the 13th, back in march, this was summer solstice, Jane being one of high risk and nervous about being out, her partner was the one household member who shops once per week, a bit of a break from the 4 kids, Jane was no longer getting any time away, the community planning team and advisory committees, vendor events for selling my handmade heartfelt creations to help make a living and a difference, all cancelled until further notice, Jane understood feeling crushed, so walking in silence, started feeling like she was drowning in her own thoughts and feelings, hoping the conversation in the car and the hug helped.

　　Guilt creeps in deeper as she felt like she should have reached out to hold hands knowing everything Jason told her, what was she sensing, mixed with her own memories, her own need for reassurance, more guilt bagin to overwhelm her as she was now aware of not knowing the time, she left the phone in the car, are things ok?.

　　She felt tired, it's feels like time for her own pain meds, she also had a large coffee before the sunset and really needed a washroom soon, so I need to break the silence of just the foot steps in the sand, the waves kissing the beach, she thought.

　　" Hey Jason, I'm sorry to break the silence as peaceful as this is, I am going to have to..." he cut her off " your kids, right you left the phone in the car, yeah we can head back and check to see if you have messages, I 'm sorry I was just enjoying the company." So was she, that's why she didn't want to break the silence, but her guilt had become to overwhelming. Jane stated "I was enjoying your company too, my peace doesn't last long before my brain gets loud in to many thoughts, but beside the water and that large coffee equal mother nature calling and no public washrooms open" Jane really felt embarrassed, yet shouldn't be, they do talk about practically everything.

　　They got back to his car, she checked her phone, all quite but wow the time, " I do need to get back" she says reluctantly, " I know " he says nodding his head, " let's swing by my place as it's closer for the bathroom then drive you home" "Deal", instead of talking they had some good tunes playing, he seemed to be smiling, a quick trip to his place, bathroom break and finally home around 3 am, Jane made a joke about a song called 3am, they hug, joke about saying good morning instead of goodnight and he says "Thanks again, if I don't say it enough I appreciate how your beinghere for me, and our friendship", "your welcome and I appreciate you too, drive safe and text me that you got home safe" she replied. " Will do" as he gets back in his car, waves and drives off.

　　The dog barks at the keys in the door, the kids still asleep thank goodness, but my spouse doesn't look so happy, " Did it help?" he asks sounding sleepy, " I think so, covered a lot" she answered, feeling like her heart is racing like that teenager sneaking in after curfew,  he yawns and replies " that's good " and heads back to bed, I make sure to lock up, phone buzzed, Jason is home safe, she gets ready to hopefully get at least 3 hours of sleep to deal with 4 hyper kids in the morning, she sighs and thinks a prayer in her head to stay quiet, I am thankful my friend is still here please help heal him and keep everyone I care about safe, her thought prayer goes down the list and in thinking the prayer and of everything she prays at some point down that list falls asleep.