My mother always told me "I am your mother and I do not tolerate two things... to lie to me or to blame me unjustly."

She first taught me this at the age of eight, then when I came crying to her because I was accused of lying she told me "Never lie in your life. Do not utter flowery words that do not belong to you"

My first advice, my first challenge. It was child's play.

Later in years, I was lied to. That hurt me. Then my mother took my hand and told me "You know sometimes it's good to lie, but do not forget" she spoke to me so sweetly and gently "Never forget your lie. If you forget it, you will fall apart and you will be cornered by them all"

She was always optimistic. She always relieved my pain.

August 2nd. Today.

I get on the train I've been waiting for. I wait for it every week.

My heart trembles every time I get on this train. I go to the second compartment and sit down.

I sigh lightly, take off my headphones and play music.

Music is the soundtrack of my life.

"Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn" said Charlie Parker and I lived to realize that.

I always liked to go by train, because that's what I did every weekend with my mother.

The view from the outside is more and more amazing with each passing day.

The forest through which the train passes, the two tunnels that make the journey more and more fascinating. Then follow the ponds where I used to go boating most of the time.

Nature is an incomprehensible art.

And after all this, the little village appears. the train stops and so I go down and head for the clearing on the outskirts of the village.

The people here are always happy and greet you with a smile on their face.

Step by step and I'm already in the clearing. Thousands of flowers, so many colors.

I aspire to inspire before I expire.

The fresh air and the smell of flowers bring that smile to my lips.

It probably took me a second to sit there or maybe two minutes. But I know for sure that the sun was already setting.

That's why I went to that place.

I sat down next to her and started talking to her.

"Hi mom" I took a deep breath "I just came from our clearing. Look, I brought you the flowers we always picked" I started weaving the little flowers.

"Erm... Aunt Ella and I get along better. She's still disappearing, but at least she's taking care of me, so yeah... you don't need to worry about it" I lowered now, the wreath and took out a candle. I lit the candle and made space for it.

"I am sorry, mom. I..." my voice cracked "I wish you were here. I m-miss you" I could not control my tears. I raised my hand and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

I laughed painfully "Why don't you talk to me mom? It's so quiet here" I put the wreath on the cross and the candle on the grave.

The cemetery is plunged into darkness. And I talked to her. I look at the candle flame. It pulses and I like to think that she is next to me and caresses my hair and sings to me.

But she is not here.