It was a cold and windy morning. I was getting ready to start a new day at school and as I was changing my clothes, my mom suddenly barged into my room. I jumped from the corner of my bed still holding my pants and using them as a cover for my private area. I blushed so hard that my cheeks went from pale to reddish. I suddenly thought that I had lost a few years of my life from that incident.

“Good morning son! Oh! I see that you’re still doing some important business, well if you are done with that, come and eat your breakfast.”

“You got it wrong!”

"Oh my, so I got it wrong, well then if you finished pleasuring yourself, please put on your clothes ok?”

“Geez it’s not like that! just get out of my room”

After my mom left, I quickly put my pants on and hurried to the kitchen. From there I saw my sister tying up her hair as she was walking towards the table. I looked at her with a smile and she responded with her eyes like she was looking at a trash. I felt a chill run down my spine, I always knew that she was so cold at me but that only started when we went to high school together.

When we were little, she would always cling to me and she would always say that she loves me so much, but those days were over.

“Tch! Gross, as expected of my brother, to be able to feel so aroused early in the morning and pleasuring himself right in front of our mother, You Make Me Sick”

“That’s not what happened… I was just…”

“Shut up, I don’t want to hear your excuses, that mere breath of yours makes me want to throw up.”

“…Right”

Even though she hates me now, I still adore her since she is my only sister. Unlike me, she is smart, athletic and more mature. On top of that she is very beautiful, she even has fans supporting her. I am so proud of her achievements. Compared to myself, I am just average, or to be more precise I’m below average. Every effort I give, I would never get good results, that is just how pathetic I am, but even so, I still believed in myself that someday I can achieve great results through my effort.

After finishing our breakfast, my sister head out first and I followed a little while. I knew her classmates will think less of her if they ever found out that I’m her brother. The reason of that was because at school I was seen as a gross and disgusting student. No one would speak to me, but luckily, I wasn’t lonely.

As I was walking towards the school, I felt a familiar presence. I instinctively knew who it was. I suddenly felt so warm inside, and I already knew what was going to happen. A really soft voice was calling for me, I was so happy just to be able to hear this voice and as I turned around, I saw the person whom I adore the most.

“Good morning Rin-kun, do you mind if I tag along with you?”

“Not at all, Miyahara-san”

“I thought I told you to start calling me by my first name”

“eh? But if I start calling you that, everyone will start to think we’re close and that might ruin your reputation, your friends will avoid you”

“But Rin-kun, aren’t we already close?”

“That’s not the point”

Fuyumi Miyahara, a year younger than me. She is one of the ‘Top Idols' in our school, with her beautiful face and her long dark silky hair, she is ranked 3rd in terms of appearance. She is also smart and diligent, but the only flaw she has is her endurance. Her body is really thin which makes it obvious that she lacks in physical strength but even though she is thin, her chest was the opposite.

It is rumored that she never speaks to a guy unless it is something important, which I believe is a lie since she was talking to a guy like me.

“I don’t care about that, even if my reputation gets ruined or if my friends will avoid me, I will still accept the fact that I’m friends with you, so please call me Fuyumi from now on ok?”

“But that will worry me more. I know how it feels to be avoided, and I don’t want that to happen to you…”

“

sigh

…baka”

It means idiot

As our conversation went on, we arrived at our school on time. I started to avoid Miyahara-san since other students started glancing on us, I didn’t look back at her. I knew that I lost her in the hallway but it’s for the best. I don’t want her to experience what I’m going through.

It pained my heart, thinking that I could have a normal high school life, that I could have friends, and to be able to hang out with Miyahara-san normally.

Flashback

Two years ago, my father died in a civil war. He was a soldier and a loving father, but because of his duty to protect the nation, he risked his life saving it. Upon his death, He was given the medal of heroes for serving his country. From that moment on, my mother wouldn’t stop crying every night. My sister was so sad that she wouldn’t speak anymore, while I was so depressed that I started shutting myself in my room. My family was in disarray wherein there were times that we don’t even talk to each other. It was a tough situation for us. A month after that, my mother suddenly stopped crying and instead she was frequently smiling. She was behaving so normally as if nothing ever happened. It goes the same with my sister who started to speak a week later, but I was the only one who still didn’t recover from the shock. I knew that I need to move on but it was tough. I continued to shut myself from the outside world. I distract myself by playing games and watching anime. The pain of losing my father still lingers in me.

A year later, my sister came barging into my room even though I thought I locked my door. I can see it in her face that she was annoyed and angry for some reason. I woke up from my bed and just stared at her waiting for her to say something. It was silent for a while. Suddenly my sister approached me with her hands forcefully slapping my face. I didn’t react, I was still lost in thought. I knew it for a while that this would happen for some time. I reverted my eyes from her because I know that I can’t speak to her.

“When will you ever move on nii-chan?! It’s already a year! When will you change?!”

“…”

I didn’t respond to her. I was still standing completely lost in thought. Then suddenly, I heard someone crying. I slowly faced my sister and there I saw tears coming down from her eyes. Her face indicated that she was worried about me. I slowly realized that I was being pathetic and thinking how did I let this happen.

“I’m sorry…it’s just really hard”

“

sob

…just come back to us nii-chan”

“ok, I’m sorry”

I slowly approached her and wiped the tears on her face. She was still crying so hard. I spread my arms around her and then pulled her towards me. Her body was shaking but her warmth gave peace to my heart. I slightly stroke her head, wanting to make her calm. I faced her and showed her my smile. She suddenly stopped crying, then she responded to me by embracing me tightly.

End of flashback

Thinking back, the incident that happened that time made me realize that I needed to move on. I was really pathetic in the past, I didn't do anything, and instead of helping my mother and my sister recover from the pain, I just ingnored them and was only thinking about myself.

"I really am pathetic..."

After the class went on a lunchbreak, I decided to go straight to the library. I needed some text books to study I thought. I went through the bookshelves and found what I was looking for. As I was about to get the book, I noticed a girl trying to reach a book at the top of the shelves. I left the book I was trying to get since I though it wasn’t going anywhere. I went to the girl and decided to help her get the book she was trying to reach.

“uhm…thank you”

“no problem”

After giving her the book, I went back to get mine but it was gone. Someone else took it I thought, but that didn’t let me down. I decided to search the other bookshelves if there are other similar text books but my luck ran out.

“oh well, another time I guess”

But as I was about to head out, I got caught in a unexpected situation.