Why are moms so embarrassing? Let me tell you, my Mom drives me bonkers. Maybe you have a normal mom, or you are like me. I am beginning to think that I am the only kid in the world that got stuck with a Loony Toon for a parent.
What makes it worse, is my Mom actually thinks she is a "cool" mom. How do I know she thinks that, you ask? Well because she has told me...loudly...in front of people! Oh the horror! The agony! The humiliation!
Now don't get me wrong, I know she loves me. Another thing that she makes sure to tell me over, and over again, everyday!
"She means well," you say. I am " lucky to have a mom who takes care of you and your siblings," they say. Blah..Blah..Blah...I get it. But does she have to go overboard with it? Will she ever see the error of her behavior and decide to act accordingly? I mean, at least give me a warning before doing some crazy stunt in public, please.
For example, let me tell you about the drive through incident. It haunts me to this day everytime we eat burgers, no lie.
It all began on a nice, sunny day. My younger brother wasn't being annoying for once and the baby sis was sleeping in her car seat. Which, by the way, is when I like her best, she doesn't bug me asleep. The radio had played my favorite song twice already...it really wasn't a bad day.
My Mom had decided to treat us to one of our favorite burgers at Burgervilla. We all agree as a family that they have the best burger sauce. Nice day right?
As my Mom was ordering, in her usual hurried and rushed way
even though we were not late for anything
, she began giggling to herself. That should have been my first clue my Mom was about to do something I'd hate.
When she grabbed the bag from the drive-through worker, she had this goofy, ear to ear grin on her face when she looked over at me. I was to busy noticing the aroma of the warm juicy burger sauce coming from the bag in her hand that I didn't think twice about the look on her face. I was fixed on her handing me my burger.
It was at that moment when I looked up at my Mom about to thank her, that she did it.
"Yew like Boogers? Because I wuv Boogers, and Flench Flies too!"
It was so random, I was caught off guard and laugh escaped my mouth. That was a mistake. It only encouraged her, and my little brother in the backseat. I was mortified. My whole body slumped down as far as I could without her telling me to sit up right. My appetite was definately ruined.
So now everytime we eat burgers, from any place, she says that. Everytime I cannot help but want to disappear, or scream at her for acting NOT like a normal mom. She doesn't care who is around and she thinks she is hilarious So funny I want a different family.
So there you have it, one of the reasons my Mom personally drives me bonkers. And trust me there are more where that came from. If you are a kid like me then you already probably know.
If you are one of the super rare and lucky kids who has a normal Mom then read on. I suppose this book is for you guys. Maybe you don’t think Moms like mine exist. Or maybe you have been unfortunate enough to witness a Mom like mine out of control at your local neighborhood supermarket.
Whatever the case may be I am here to tell you it must be stopped. If you come across a kid such as myself in public dealing with a Mom disaster please by all means intervene. Even if only to say, “hey, my Mom would never act like that lady! Shame on you! Stay strong brother!”
It just might be the difference between a kid and his very social life hanging in the balance.
