ALEX

I had been wondering from this thing ever since I was a little kid. Why am I different from the other boys I encountered? Why am I not attracted to women like any other boys did? And worst of all, why do I look like a little girl? Everytime girls that met me in the hallway, they would just pinched my cheeks and sometimes, they forced me to wear women's clothes. Dude, I'm a guy for god's sake! So many questions were scrambled inside my brain and me myself was drowned into confusion.

'I really am weird.'

It's not because I am a homo. Honestly, neither of them were my interests. Does it feel weird? It was like my mind and heart is blocked over a thick wall, not allowing a single person to pass through the block. Sometimes, I wonder of what i really am. Am I asexual? Or demisexual? Or maybe i'm just not attracted to anyone yet. In spite of all these confusions, I can only let out a sigh.

"Are you having problems lately?" A short and pale girl with a white tee and jeans carrying her back pack suddenly asked me out of the blue. Her name is Halley, she was my lesbian friend.

"Not really, just asking myself what's wrong with me," I answered.

"Oh really, now that's quite a shock. I was just about to ask you the same thing." Jake smiled as he put his hand around my shoulder. He was taller than me even though i am a year older than him. He always teased me like i am his younger brother. But hey, I was kinda used to it.

"I'm older than you. Quit teasing me like that you geezer!"

"Tsk. You cursed at me again. My little heart's broken," Jake said teasingly with his smooth lips frowned.

"Just don't bother him. He might end up murdering you," the other girl said. Her name is Jane, she had a boyish attitude but not a lesbian. Unlike this other girl here, if Halley was a boy she would have dated all the girls in school. But she was a lesbian, and she regretted being born in a woman's body.

As we walked through the school gate, we parted ways. We were studying in the same school but not in the same classroom. I'm a senior high school student. I mean we all are, but in a different department.

"Hey Alex! Be careful not to smash on to a wall, you don't want your forehead get a bump, do you?" Jake teased me as he go to his classroom. Here he go again, provoking me.

I just rolled my eyes and turned to the opposite side. Raising my left wrist, I looked at my wristwatch to check the time.

"Geez it's 9 o'clock," I whispered to myself. My class usually starts at 10 o'clock so I have a one hour spare time. I walked on the school hallway and stopped at the cafeteria. I wanna rest a little while. It's still early anyway.

I went to the counter to order a strawberry milk. Not a little while a man walked to the counter as well.

"Coffee please?"

He was quite handsome. He has round cobalt eyes with his long eyelashes shadowing his side view. A perfect angled nose that everyone wished to have, with a sweet thick, pink, kissable lips. His face was smooth with freckles along with it and his black, smooth and glossy hair was messy-like hairstyle. His overwhelming sharp jawline suits his face more importantly. And for some reason, I envied his adam's apple, bobbing up and down as he gulped.

Overall, he's perfectly stunning.

"Here's your strawberry milk." I get back to my senses as the lady gave my order. I didn't know that I was examining his looks. Luckily he didn't laid his eyes on me or else he would think that I'm a total creep.

"Thank you, here's the tip," and I hurriedly go back to the table.

I glanced at him again, investigating him as if he was a criminal who crazily broke free from the dungeon. I think I've never seen him before. Maybe a transfer student? Where is his classroom? And why am I so curious!? I shook my head after that conclusion. It would be too weird for me to suddenly curious from a person i never saw before.

I took a sip from my strawberry milk and looked at my cellphone, scrolling several times in my facebook to avoid boredom, but it seemed like it didn't helped at all.

I glanced at that man again, he's in the right side, sitting and playing games.

From my guess, I think we're about the same age.

He was wearing a white tee with a black hoodie and a denim jeans.

I stared at him, examining his physique and honestly, I don't know why. My chest feels weird for no reason. I'm just, fluttered seeing such a handsome face. Maybe, it's normal right?

"Weird."

I looked at my phone and checked the time. It's already 9:30 so I immediately packed my things and walked to the hallway, to my classroom obviously.

____________

Finally, i'm in my classroom. In this hour, no one is in the room. It's pretty good, I can enjoy the fresh air from the window as i put my headphones in my ears while listening to the music.

After a few minutes, my classmates slowly entered the room, chatting, and minding their own business. Well, I usually don't have any close friends here. I'm not that sociable person like anyone else. I have my own world of some sort.

One by one they entered the room. The peaceful room was now a chaotic one. Noisy here, noisy there, like a whole room was in a concert.

"Hey Alex! Don't be such a loner. Accompany with us!" One of my classmates said.

I pretended that I'm listening some music in my headphones so that they can't bother me. I didn't hesitate to not answering them and just wandered my gaze outside the window.

"He's at it again. Don't force him. If he doesn't want to be friends with anyone, why bother?"

It's not because I don't want to. I just don't trust anyone, that's all. Excluding from my three friends, they were there for me when i needed them.

I don't want to be betrayed like last time.

The teacher was not here yet, so I took my comic book and read it.

"Where's the teacher? I'm so tired waiting here!" I'm so pissed off while waiting here in the corner. I want to end this session and just sleep.

As I let my head slanted on the windowpane, I released a bored sigh and thought some random things that made my mind wandered off somewhere.

Not too long and the classroom door slammed. Our teacher was here, but he was not alone. A tall, dark-haired boy followed behind our teacher. His honey-tanned skin glistening as the rays of sunlight escaping from the window glimmered at him.

Wait, that's the boy from before right? What is he doing here?

We stood and greeted our teacher. I stole a glance at the boy beside him. He was quietly standing there, looking down and it seems like he's also an anti-social person like me.

'Hmmph! Not that I care.'

"Guys we have a transferee today. Be nice to him okay?" the teacher said in a low tone.

He turned towards the transferee student and asked him to introduce himself.

"Hi. I'm Caleb Collins. Nice to meet you," he smirked and turned into an expressionless look as he faced our classmates.

I was listening and took a peck of glance in him again, but I immediately faced myself outside. Who cares about the transferee? Well, at least it's not me.

I can tell the girls here are cheering for him. They cupped their cheeks, shooking their heads and blushing as they faced him. They even offering their seat beside them. But, this gentleman seemed weird.

"I'll sit beside him. I'm sorry."

And why the hell did he picked this place beside me? Even ghosts were unwillingly to sit beside me.

"Hi!" He greeted me with a smile on his face.

"...."

I don't want to annoy him. Maybe its best to have at least one friend in the classroom.

"Hi." I said in a gentle tone.

"What's your name?"

I don't know his intentions though. But I'll just---well go with the flow.

"I'm Alex."

Or maybe I did some stupid mistake.