Back in those days, everything was fine like dust. We were both having good times, laughing and talking to each other. As I look at him, I saw his brightest smile on which he had never showed up.
For the first and the last time, I look at him closely and we shared the joy together. Before, he was as stoic and cold as an Ice, but seeing him changed the way he does right now makes me smile. I couldn't feel anything but the warmth of his, sadly to say but things are different now, the brightest smile is fading little by little.
His glittering eyes are back in those dark gloomy lines, his smiling lips are now parting with his voice cracked as he spoke to me, the brilliant man I admired and love the most that I gave all of my efforts just to make things right, is different than what I'd hope for. He acted like he was right by deciding to take someone else's hand. He was lost in his own gloomy world that my trust to him broke. His attitude was now as gloomy as the sky, he thought for my sake but he broke my heart. How I wish we could become together the same as before but it's just a stupid dream that leads me to hurt.
Standing In the middle of the street as rain starts dripping. I told him this directly " You can say "sorry" A million times, say "I love you" as much as you want, say whatever you want, whenever you want. But if you're not going to prove that the things you say are true, then don't say anything at all.
Don't lie in order to satisfy somebody for a moment because the pain that you cause them in the future can last for a life time.
Because we all know that everyone is trying to find the right person, But nobody is trying to be the right one.
You can'tfinr the right one? Then be the one. Imagine meeting someone who wanted to learn your past not to Punish you, but to understand How you needed to be loved. Then that would be awesome".
After I said this to him, I turned my back at him and bit my lips as I walked away. I was badly hurt, I want to cry but I can't cry in front of him. I'm tired of all this things, I want to take a break, I'm broken. I've done enough to make him smile.
"Ela, I'm sorry". I was walking away when I heard him said this, tears starts flowing in my cheeks. I loved him as he loved me. "but why did you took someone's hand and replaced me just for my sake, Is that how you manage things?!". I shouted as I answered him, was he playin' around because his rich that he could do anything whenever he want and just left alone those people who cared lots about him. "I was lost, You broke me first. You just disgusts me!". I added, We both took parts and everything was just the same. Nothing can't be changed, but now I'm running away.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, I was only doing it for you. I'm sorry for breaking your heart, I know I don't appreciate your love. I'm sorry for being not there beside you when you need me the most. I'm sorry for not being the person you wanted. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, it was for your sake that I took her hand. I am guilty, you deserve to be love and you appreciate one's love and everything is done for you. I want to make it one last time with you, will you accept it?". He said as tears stars falling, I turned and looks at him showing how I was badly hurt. I then look directly to his eyes telling him how he made me feel bad. He messed all the things up, he just embarrassed myself, I want to be strong but this heart isn't that strong enough to ignore someone like him.
I wiped my tears and answered him back. "Like I told you, say whatever you want, whenever you like. But if your not going to prove it, don't say anything to me. I'm tired of all this, just... give up already. There's nothing we could do about it, take the path you've chosen". I told him and sighed while crying. "Ela-". he muttered but I cut his words, leaving him speechless as I responded to him. "Don't call me that!. I don't want to talk about it, either speaking I hate to talk about it. So just Let go already!". I told him this, I clenched my fist as I turned and walk out of the door leaving him behind. It's quite difficult to forget but I will do in the meantime, I won't let this pain overwhelm me again. I won't let it happen, I won't let anybody hurt my feelings like what he does to me.
Everything I do is between my decision, I'm free away from loving and being hurt. I'm afraid to love, I turn my head and close my heart to the promise of love that is luring. For the past has taught to not be caught, in what is not worth pursuing. To never do the things I've done that once had led to my undoing. That's how I felt, I walk away and sworn not to love again, I had never returned from the past.
Years had passed, since that day I've sworn to my self not to love someone even just little again. I don't give chances to nobody, instead I'm serious and acts strong in every way I do.
As the sun shine gazing through out the curtains in my room, I steeped out of the bed and took a shower. Afterwards, I took the keys and head out of the house. Heading out as I drove my car towards the company I've been working. After I have arrived, I parked the car on the underground parking lot and headed straight up directly to the rehearsal room located at the sixth floor.
As I came in, the other staffs greeted me with a "good morning" as I replied to them back. I sat down to one of my table and read the script as usual. As I was busy analyzing the manuscript, my bestie just came in and greeted us with a warm smile like she always does. It was like everything is fine even though there was a lot of problems.
"Morning Ela" my bestfriend greets me. She's Katherine Mageste, my childhood bestfriend. "Morning". I replied to her, busily reading the script. We've been together since we were in little, and we both dreamt, graduated, and work together. She was like a sister to me, staying and rooting to each other. Laugh with her and cried with her.
" You know, just memorizing those lines won't even make you smile". she jokes while placing a cup of coffee on my table as she sat down beside me. "I know what your up to, don't make me kick you off". I replied with a cold gaze and turned my chair from her. She waves her hand avoiding my sharp gazes to her.
"Yeah yeah, I was just asking would you like to go somewhere. But duh, never mind. You don't care about me being alone, right?. Anyways someone might pick me up and...". She starts staring at me as she raised her brows while waiting for me to finish her sentence, the thought of this girl would be so definite on me.
"You know what?, I'll treat you to dinner tonight, you won't pass my cooking right?, or would you rather miss just going somewhere?". I replied putting the papers aside as I checks my nails from my hand while looking at her with a smile.
"Nah, I was invited to an Huge party. Also, famous artist are coming along. You might get to see your IDOL there~. You aren't strong headed to decline such offer, right?". She told me and put her fingers on her cheeks puffing, I leaned my head on the chair and thought for a minute. I can't decline such an offer, either my bestfriend is also asking me. Why would I decline her, ' I don't have anything to do tonight so guess I'm coming but...'. I was in the middle of thoughts when she interrupted me.
"Great!, prepare for tonight. I'll be picking you up". Said Kath smiling gleefully while picking up her bag and got out of the room. "Hah~". I gave a deep sigh and continued on what I'm doing. She guessed me right, I wonder what kind of Huge party she's talking about. I wore a simple pink with a bit purple blueish nightgown dress meanwhile Kath wore a Sunday dress.
