Life is not easy as it seems, there are times when we can just say or ask ourselves, "Why my life sucks?" When I was child I thought that this world is quite pretty, everything is so lovely for me. We may not be that rich but we're full of love…I think?
My mother died because of a car accident, I don't know what happened and I don't quite understand what's happening, the thing that I am sure of is, it's my father's fault. I still remember the face of my mom, how devastated she is because she found out that father is cheating on her. I hate it when my mom is pretending that she's okay, she's putting a happy and brave face when she's with us and I don't like it. If she wanted to cry, she should cry all of her thoughts and problems.
A day after my mother died, my father brought his mistress in our own house. I wanted to ask him how could he? I mean is he not ashamed? I heard he's expecting a baby from his mistress that made me and my brother fumed in anger. I know it is not good to wish something bad but I wished that he is the one who died instead of my mother.
Every day is a living hell for me and my brother. We are living a miserable life. There is no single day that they won't beat us. I wanted to fight back but I can't, I'm so mad at myself because I can't do anything. My brother is always protecting but I can't protect him, I feel so useless.
One day I saw my brother packing all of his stuffs. Where is he going?
"Oppa, where are you going?" he looked quite shocked as soon as he saw me. I saw in his eyes how terrified he is. What's going on?
He's nervous and I'm very aware of that, he wanted to say something but he can't say it and I don't know why.
He looked at me and his face soften, he calmed a little bit the he held my two little hands as he embraced me. " Dongsaeng—a? Oppa, wanted to apologize."
"Why? Why are you so sorry?"
It became still, he's hesitating to tell me what's going on inside his mind. I don't know but my heart beat faster. I'm nervous.
"Oppa is leaving." I can't process the words that I've heard, did I heard it right? He's leaving?
"It's okay, I'll pack my things too. I don't want to be here anymore too." I was about to stand but he pulled me and put me in his embrace again. The next thing happened surprised me, he started crying really hard and without me noticing I'm also crying too.
"I'm sorry, but I can't take you with me."
"What? Why? You're leaving without me? Oppa, don't leave me, you're the only one who loves me. You're the only one I have. Without you, I think I can't survive anymore."
"Listen. I don't want to leave you but I don't have a choice. That man and his mistress made our lives miserable. I can endure all of the beating I receive from them but I can't endure the way they treated and hurt you. I can't take it anymore I need to do something. I wanted to protect you." I didn't speak and I remain silent. I understand his point but I also wanted to protect him.
"Oppa, will get you out of here. I don't want my princess to suffer anymore. I promise that I'll get you back. I'm going to look for you when I'm successful, sop be strong okay? We will leave that man and we will have a happy and perfect life again arasso?" he looked at me with his teary gently eyes as he caress my face.
"Promise me that you will be back promise me that you will look for me okay?" He nodded.
"One last thing, one last request before you leave. May I see my oppa's smile. I bet I will not see those smile for a long time." I said while wiping my tears.
"Of course for my princess." he said and he smiled. I can't stop my tears rolling down to my face as soon as I saw his smiling face
I wish I could see him smile brightly all the time, I wanted to see him smile without any hesitation.
"I need to go now princess. Remember that I love you so much and I will miss you so much." he said while cupping my face.
"Here, wear this necklace okay? So even though I'm not by your side, I can still be with you. Whenever you feel that you have no one, this necklace will remind you that you have me. You still have your brother you still have me no matter what happen I'm with you." I smiled at the necklace that he gave it has a picture of the both us.
My life may not be easy but at least I still have him. Whenever I feel lonely, miserable or depress. I'm trying my best to remember him and his smile that I wish I could see again.
I really can't stop myself from being emotional whenever I'm thinking of my brother. I wanted to see him again. I hope he is in a good situation, I hope he's eating well. I hope he's okay.
Where is he right now? It's been ten years since the last time I saw him, bet he grew up being a fine and good looking man.
"Hey! What's up?!" a tall gorgeous man appeared right in front of me wearing his brightest smile as always and being hundred time energetic that yesterday.
"Nothing." I answered shortly.
"What's the problem? Did your dad and your ugly step mother tell you're useless and trash again? How many times do I have to tell in you and please put it in your mind that YOU ARE NOT USELESS AND TRASH OKAY?!! You're very important to me. Do you think I will be your best friend if you're a trash?" Kalix, my best friend scolded me for an hour and he keep motivating and cheering me up despite of my gloomy presence.
I giggled remembering how cute he is, that's why I fell in love with my best friend he is the person who always care for me but I can't confess my real feeling towards him because I'm afraid to take the risk, to be rejected and I don't want to destroy the relationship that we have right now.
"Geez, Kalix calm down okay? I don't care to what that man called my father and my ugly step mother says. I'm thinking about my brother." I looked at the ground trying my best not to be gloomy.
"Yah! Don't be sad okay? You will see your brother again. He promised right? And I promise to you that we will look for your brother. So don't be sad you're being ugly."
I pinched his cute little cheeks.
"Yah! How dare you pinch your husband's cheeks." he pouted.
I hate it when he is being like this I know that he is only joking and I don't want to expect something.
"Don't joke like that. I'm only your best friend."
"Wae? Hahaha you're blushing? Geez, you never know the future. Maybe I could be your future husband." he winked at me.
"Aigoo, you and your nonsense mind. You're so adorable." I said teasingly. I'm happy that Kalix is always by my side, he is the only friend that I have.
