I grew up thinking my childhood crush is my soul mate, in my mind we were going to get married, he was supposed to be my first, i thought he would even be the father of my children. Then i met my first boyfriend Simon, he was a fun guy, we would study together we were like friends he was my first kiss, Simon then relocated and i was left alone, it was sad i know but we would talk on the phone sometimes and I had promised him that i would wait for him

, he was supposed to be my virgin breaker. While i was lonely i then met Mathew, well i wasn't really inlove with him he was just there to fill the void of Simon leaving me, although I wasn't in love with Mathew i gave him my virginity and I had to tell Simon about it we then decided to be friends.

To my surprise i was just a side chick to Mathew, he had a girlfriend! and i have foolishly lost my virginity to him. I have never felt so stupid in my life, i had a boyfriend that loved me but i gave my virginity to someone who has his own girlfriend, out of spite i cheated on Mathew with Mason, i made sure Mathew finds out about my relationship with Mason then dumped him, Mason was my first love, i was in love for the first time in my life and Mason would do no wrong in my eyes, it's true when they say 'love is blind'.

i was in a relationship with him for 4 years and our sex life was a mess! When i first had sex with Mason it was like i was losing my virginity over again, it was painful i could not enjoy it, couldn't even let him ejaculate, it was really painful and he was understanding at least that's what i thought. I relocated and in my absence Mason would sleep with every girl he came across and he would tell them that he has me in his life, we were on and off for all those years i only broke up with him after i realised that that i wasn't connecting with him at all and we were at a stage where now i was used to having sex with him and instead of pain there was pleasure too,

he went down own me, his tongue on my clit my body could not respond because i could not stop myself from thinking of the other girls he fucked while in a relationship with me, i was torn in pieces, as much as I loved him i broke up with him because i could not believe it even when he said he loved me. I told myself that I want nothing that has to do with men in my life and I would never date again, i remained single for 1 year and 5 months until i met this hotty...