"I want to go to Yale, baby."
I choked on my drink, and his hand quickly went to my back to rub it softly. Once I was able to clear my throat and fill my lungs with enough oxygen, I looked at my boyfriend, Josiah, with a mix of shock and disbelief.
"Yale? Why Yale? And why so sudden? I thought we agreed to go to the University of California together," I said, pinning him down with my gaze.
Most people thought of me as intimidating; that probably had something to do with my fierce eyes and tall stature. And I was told I always had this uninviting look on my face that chased people away. Can't an eighteen year old girl have grey eyes, be six feet tall, and always have a stoic expression without looking terrifying?
But I know Josiah didn't look at me as intimidating. He always felt at ease around me. A little too comfortable.
He nodded slowly, never taking his striking green orbs away from my grey ones as he spoke, "Yes, we did, but Yale has always been a dream of mine. It's one of the highest ranking universities in the world, and my mom always wanted me to go there."
I see what he's doing.
We have been dating for almost a year now; the truth is, I had a crush on him and asked him out. At first he said he preferred us as just friends, but after making out with him during the Christmas party last year, he suddenly "fell in love with me."
We pretty much hit it off from there. Most people thought he was using me, but I didn't think so. Yeah, maybe I buy him a lot of stuff and he's never gotten me anything, not even a gift worth two dollars or a card, but I believed love was not about material things. It is about what's in the heart, and that is all that matters. I knew Josiah loved me from the way he looked at me, kissed me, and held me. It didn't matter what others thought about our relationship as long as we had each other.
"You know it's almost impossible to get accepted into Yale, right?" I asked him. I didn't want to be the one to dampen his mood, but someone had to tell him.
Judging by the way he nodded his head and smiled at me, I could easily tell he was aware of that. "I know there's a four to six percent admissions rate, but I am confident I will get in," he said with much certainty and determination. Somehow, I had faith in his words.
Josiah was basically everything Yale was looking for. Incredibly smart, handsome, and athletic, he has brilliant plans for his future and how to change the world. I had faith in him and his potential.
It was very hard to hide my sadness, though. We had already decided to attend the same college; Yale was hundreds of miles away, making it nearly impossible to spend time with him if he was accepted.
"That's great," I said, my sadness obvious, but my boyfriend didn't seem to notice.
"Yeah, but there's something else..." he trailed off. My brow furrowed in confusion as his fingers made contact with the top of my head, brushed away some of my black hair from my face before caressing my cheek with his thumb. "I can't afford Yale," he continued, "you know how our exams are coming up, and soon we will be graduating and all, so I calculated how much I would receive from my job and how much I have in my savings, and everything would sum up to about three thousand dollars."
He brought our bodies together, and I could feel myself melting into him. His touch always did that to me. I never once thought of myself as weak and dependent, but that all changed whenever I was with Josiah. I felt safe and secured in his arms. He brought this peace to my heart, one that I have never felt before. When he pressed his hypnotizing, soft lips to my head, I found my eyelids getting heavier. But when he said, "Yale's tuition fees are usually around fifty five to sixty thousand dollars," my eyelids flew wide open.
I moved away from him on the couch. I didn't know what look I had on my face, but whatever it was, it made Josiah flinch. "Sixty thousand dollars?!"
I probably should not have bought him that car on his birthday. Now he thinks I have gotten a lot of money from my job.
"Yeah, but I will already have three thousand, and..."
"Where the hell are we going to get fifty-seventy thousand dollars from?!" I snapped before getting off the couch and walking around my apartment. He got up too, and he looked cautious when approaching me; he looked hesitant as well. Like he was unsure of whether to say what he had on his mind or not. I really wish he didn't, but like I said, he was way too damn comfortable with me.
"But you told me you got two hundred thousand from your job a while ago," he said, making me freeze in my steps. I never should have told him that. When I told him I got paid that much, I had just run away from my parent's home. I was on the streets for months before I got the money to buy this apartment. Then I bought a car... Then I bought him a car... And some clothes...
The bottom line is that there was no money left.
And I told him just that. I watched as Josiah walked up to me and held my face in his hands. He held my gaze for so long I thought I was paralyzed. "You made that money in a short time, I'm sure you can do it again." His lips were on mine for a split second before he pulled away. "I have to go. Just think about it, please. It's what my mom would have wanted," he said, and I hated the way he brought up his deceased mother. He picked up his car keys and phone before throwing me a charming wink.
And then he was gone, leaving me alone in my lavish apartment with a chip in my heart.
Just once, I wished he had asked me what my job was.