Emily

Sitting down in the park, the cool evening breeze washed over my skin as I watched the children play, adults sitting on the nearby benches conversing or going on their merry way. Watching everything unfold, took me back to a time when I was a kid and I would enjoy the company of my father and mother when we would usually play in my favorite meadow that was near our house back in Texas. Those were happy days for me, and every day I wished I could be transported back to that time–– when I was happy and had no care in the world.

Sighing, I got up and walked back to my apartment building where I checked on the woman who made my heartbreak every day due to her condition going downhill. She was still fast asleep, lying peacefully with a smile on her face. Walking into her room, I kissed her on the cheek and whispered, "I love you mom," before I ventured into the living room where I watched television until my mind got tired. Going into my room, I lay on my bed and closed my eyes, and fell asleep instantly.

Ring! Ring! my alarm went off blasting through my entire room, causing me to quickly shot up out of my sleep. I cursed the day when the inventor of the alarm clock invented the annoying contraption for their irritating and loud as hell. It seems these things go off when you're dreaming about something amazing that you don't want to wake up from because what you're dreaming about is pure bliss or when you are all snuggled up––enjoying the warmth of your bed when boom there goes the stupid alarm clock, going off and ringing very loudly irritating your nerves.

Looking at it in disgust I turned it off, wiped my eyes, and got out of bed. Stretching my tired aching limbs, I walked to the bathroom where I stripped out of my nightwear and stepped into the shower. Turning it on, I allowed the warm water to run over my body soothing my aching limbs. My body felt very tired and everywhere hurt, it was because I was doing overtime to generate more funds so I could buy my mom's medications that are now long overdue, that and the fact that I was lacking good sleep.

I had to be up and about every morning before dawn to make sure that my mom's breakfast was made, the house was in good order and to also get ready for work.

My mom was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer a year ago, and I have been struggling to pay for her chemotherapy and buy her medications. Since I am her only child and my dad had died from a heart attack when I was seventeen years old, I am now the breadwinner of the family. Due to her illness, I told her she should stay home and rest and I will provide for her and myself.

Since recently things have been getting harder to manage. The pay that I am receiving at the local bookstore that I worked at, which was very small, cannot cover the monthly bills, rent, medication, chemotherapy, and food items so I have decided that I will be looking for a job very soon with better pay and benefits. Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower and walked to the mirror where I wiped the fog off that had escaped and fogged up the glass during my shower. Staring at my reflection, I saw a very beautiful petite girl with hazel eyes that once had a spark, hair that was long, black, and shiny, and a face that was pale and seemed much older than my age.

I used to often consider myself brave but truth to be told, I was a coward I could never defend myself not now and not when I was back in high school except for that one time I had to humiliate a rich guy who tried to use me for my body and to humiliate me in front of the entire school. I had to stand up for myself that day. I was thirteen years old when my dad had gotten a great job in Washington DC, which had resulted in us moving from Texas. The home that I grew to love with the beloved meadow that I enjoyed running in when the sun was setting and the tall grass had that evening glow to them.

Moving meant that I will be going to a new school and mixing with persons more fortunate than I was. We had gotten a small house, it wasn't like some of the mansions I had passed while driving to school but it was comfortable and I liked it. Unfortunately for me, being the new kid and living in a small house were two combinations that resulted in you getting teased and bullied by rich snobby kids. I would often go home every day and cry on my mom's shoulders, telling her I hated this place and I wanted to leave. I told her I was going to tell dad that I didn't want to live here anymore but when I saw the smile on his face and the way his voice came out cheerful when he spoke about his new job, I kept quiet and I made my mom promise to keep quiet too.

I had endured the bullying and eventually gotten over it because I told myself that this was only temporary and life couldn't get any worse but it did. It was like the universe was mocking me for some unknown reason like I did something wrong and karma being the bitch that she was was coming back to take revenge on me for something that I didn't do.

It was Wednesday night when my mom and I was in the living room watching our favorite movie when we heard a knock on the door, it was an officer and he had come to inform us that my dad had suffered a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital and was pronounced dead before he could even make it there. I felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks, I felt so lost… I felt like a part of me was gone and it was. I was depressed for months until one day I met a guy that I had fallen in love with and was quite smitten with. He was my rock in my time of need and I felt like I could trust him like I could offer a piece of me to him. I considered him to be my boyfriend.