“You are just a bitch,” he screamed at her. Domigo was furious. Ana could not understand. Who wanted to be a whore? A stripper? Nobody. She was refused because, well, because. And now, that she was accepting, out of need, out of necessity, he slapped her? The world could not get more unfair for her, direr.
“Please stop, please,” she screamed in return. When she had met Domigo, he was so nice to hear that now the action of him slapping her seemed almost surreal to her. They had met two weeks ago, near the bridge where she lived. It was a small town in the USA, yes, but she never stopped meeting new people, she didn’t know why. Domigo was just another one. “You’ll be huge in San Diego”, was the first thing he said to her.
Her world started to crumble when they had incarcerated her boyfriend nearly three weeks ago. She went to steal some food so they both could eat and got caught. They must have been waiting for him, they had been living like this for a year now.
What was she going to do without him? And the bail was so expensive. It was then that she met Domigo. For a second, even a minute, she had thought it was heaven-sent. She was not religious, nobody had thought her religion, but she had heard stories, anecdotes. If there was a time to believe, that was it. But now the slap. Was that heaven-sent too?
She needed money. All she knew how to do for money was fuck and undress. She knew that. At least for lots of money. She had thought about that life before but was always afraid. But now; now was different. Now Dave needed help. She needed Dave.
“I said I’ll do it,” she said, almost crying. Why did it have to be this way?
“I know you will. And you’ll be great too”, he said, caressing her hair.
She didn’t know what love was, but she thought she loved Dave. As an orphan, unconditional love was unknown to her. All of her life she had felt a deep, hollow hole in her soul. Like swimming against the current. Until she had met Dave, another orphan. She didn’t know about unconditional love, but she knew about soul mates. She knew about needing another human being. And knowing, deep down, that the other one needed you too.
That’s why she needed that money. She needed it bad. She could feel his suffering, his desperation. Where are you? She found herself thinking often since his arrest. Although she knew where he was.
I’ll get the money, I’ll get Dave and we’ll go back to our home under the bridge, she had promised herself. That was her master plan. Her inner mantra.
I can get it in a couple of months, she had said to herself. And probably she could. What was beyond her sight was: how to get out.
That kind of life is not something you do for some money and then get out. Money was addictive. Not just for her, but for Domigo too. He was going to want his money now, forever. But what did she know? Time will teach her, for sure.
“Well well well,” Domigo said, as she turned her around.
“You are going to be a nice treat for some people,”, he continued.
“I am going to save you for my better customers. The VIP. Do you hear that honey? You are VIP,”, he said, as she wiped her tears.
“You start tomorrow. I know a place where you can crash and get a bath. Because baby, the street got you smelling like shit,” Domigo told her.
“By the way, think of a name for yourself. You can’t be Ana in this business,” he said, and then grabbed her by the arm and pulled her.
“Come, I’ll show the place,” he said.
As they walked, Ana was feeling somewhat better. A place to crash. A bath. Things were looking up for her. She had so many questions but was afraid to ask. She thought it was just better to live with the doubt, than to anger this incomprehensible man.
The place was not far away. It was a small town in the end. The place was better than the bridge but didn’t feel like home though. The strangeness of the place made her feel scared. It was a small apartment, near downtown in a complex that looked so old, you might think nobody lived there.
“Here, there is the bathroom and there is a bed. I’ll come tomorrow to pick you up,” he said, and then he was gone.
He left her with her thoughts. That wasn’t many. But they were deep. The last time she remembered being in a room with a bath was at the orphanage. And those weren’t sweet times either. She remembered the loneliness, the loveless place. All the love she knew came from Dave. She would do anything to get him back. Or else…
She lost her train of thought.
As she bathed, her mind was blank. With the future and the past looking so intense, she just couldn’t think of anything. She felt she needed to take three or four baths to be clean. So she just took one very long one, using lots of soap and shampoo. The soap and the shampoo were the only things that looked new in there. It made such a strange contrast.
She started to feel at home. A little bit. Maybe it was the loneliness, maybe it was the cleanliness, maybe it was the peacefulness. But she felt like she was actually resting for the first time in such a long time.
And then again, the thought of Dave came to her mind and filled her with anxiety. How could she be at peace and him not? She couldn’t even do that to him. It was not fair. Then, she fell asleep.
