It was the same nightmare again, a terrifying fusion of his worst memories.

Mairi stood in front of him, eyes blurry with tears, hurt and confusion making her lip tremble.

He recognized this scene immediately, knew it was after their first night together. He had convinced her to come back to his life, to move in with him, and she had said yes, had thought it was a good idea until she realized what role she'd be playing.

No! Dammit, no!

But it was as if his soul was manacled, and there was nothing he could do to stop the scene from unfolding, nothing to prevent Mairi from breaking.

"What do you mean you're still engaged?"

And that was when Damen saw himself. His former asshole self, unable to see past his selfishness to realize how he was destroying his only chance of happiness.

"Mairi, I didn't lie to you this time. When we were in Vlahos' yacht, I told you I wanted you in my life."

"Yes."

"But did I say I was going to break it off with her?"

Stop it. You fucking fool, stop breaking her heart! Damen struggled against the invisible chains that stopped him, but it was as if he was voiceless, nonexistent.

And so his former self continued to tear her apart.

He turned to Mairi, and Damen's chest constricted at the way she tried to keep her every dream alive, tried to believe that love was every bit as good and pure as she had been made to believe.

"No, but…"

That blank look in her eyes, that silent begging – it drove Damen to his knees, and he looked up, wildly searching for something, someone to blame. Somebody fucking let me go so I can stop this.

He shouted, I'll do anything you want. Just let me go and let me———

But it was too late.

"How else will you have me back in your life if you still belong to her?" Her voice shook. Her heart bled. He could see it in her eyes.

And his former self, finally realizing, bit by bit, the fucking mess he was in. His former self, doing his best to keep Mairi from bleeding even more, saying, "I don't belong———"

But it was too late.

Mairi was screaming. "How?"

The pain on her face was too much.

Damen reached for her at the same time his former self did.

But neither of them was able to reach her.

Mairi, pushing away the hand that tried to hold her, Mairi trying her best not to sob, but it was impossible.

"How?" This time, she was no longer screaming. This time, she was crying.

Damen was white with pain at the sight. Why, goddamn you, why? Why do you always make me see this?

In front of him, his former self admitted in a bleak voice, "I wanted you back in my life as my mistress."

As soon as the words were uttered, the scene changed, transforming into the garden of his home in Athens. Damen's surprise party had taken a turn for the worst as he and his guests ended up the ones surprised instead.

A beam of light shone down on his pregnant wife, whose fingers tightly gripped the handles of her luggage. Behind her stood Drake, the man who was obviously going to take her away from Damen.

Mairi was crying, and she was apologizing to him over and over. "I'm sorry."

Each word was like a wound that Damen knew would never stop bleeding. Even now, even though a part of him knew this was a nightmare he had somehow been forced to relive, Damen couldn't help the terror choking him at the thought of his wife leaving him for good.

Slowly, he reached for her, half—expecting his former self to show up and replace him. But nothing happened, the crowd around them blending into the shadows. He could feel their eyes on him. Watchful. Judging. Pitying.

When Mairi flinched, Damen tore his hand away, unable to believe he had been able to touch her. He looked around, wondering what was happening. This was the past. This couldn't be happening again———

Behind him, Mairi was whispering, "I'm sorry."

He spun back to face her, and terror strangled him when he saw her starting to walk away.

No.

Fuck, no.

It didn't matter if this was a dream or not. He was not going to let her be taken away.

He clutched her hand, desperate to keep her from leaving him. Slowly, Mairi turned to Damen, tears still streaking down her face. "I'm sorry."

"Then…stay." He said the words instinctively, and a moment later, he realized those words were the exact same ones he had said in the past.

Mairi shook her head. "I can't pretend anymore."

The words had killed him then, and it still killed him now. Despair made the whole world go black, but Damen doggedly forced himself to concentrate on her words, forced himself to find a solution to her problem.

If she had been pretending before, so fucking be it – he would take her any fucking way he could have her. And now…if she was tired of pretending –

"I'll find a way to make it easier for you to pretend." He couldn't say the words fast enough, couldn't stop himself from gripping her hand tightly so she'd never be free from him. "Until – until you forget you're pretending———"

But Mairi didn't seem to hear him. Didn't seem to want to hear him as she shook her head and sobbed, "I have to let you go———"

"I don't want you to let me go!" Desperation made him shout the words. Goddammit, he didn't want to relive this again. Somebody fucking wake him up from this nightmare———

When Mairi managed to wrench herself out of his hold, it was as if she had torn his heart out of his chest as well. "I have to," she cried back. "I can survive without you———"

"But I can't!" he flung back at her, ashen with pain. Why, dammit, why did she fucking think it was about her being able to survive without him? Of course she could do that. Any man would find it easy to love her.

This…this was all about him.

He would never be able to love anyone but her.

If she left him…

Damen gazed at his wife bleakly. "Do you understand, Mairi?" His words were a savage whisper. "I'm the one who's weak. I'm weak without you. I'm without hope, and I'm blind, deaf, and dumb without you. So goddammit, take pity on me again."

The words took everything from him, his throat closing, and his voice broke. "Please." No fucking shame left even with the whole world looking, pitying him. "Take fucking pity on me and stay———"

But Mairi was still walking away.

"I can't."

No, fuck, no.

He rushed to his feet, but it was too late, she was too far away. "Mairi!" He shouted her name as he ran as fast as he could.

This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be leaving him. She couldn't.

"Mairi!"

"Mairi!"

But she was fading from his sight now, leaving him for good.