Chapter 1 — 01
Heroina
Latin. Etymology of the word: Heroine.
Adrienne Miller sat in her balcony, one October afternoon. She just finished unpacking her clothes and putting all her furniture in place. Her new apartment reflected every bit of her personality. Every vase, every painting and every jar showcased her style.
She felt very tired, having spent the rest of the day tidying up and decorating her new haven, but she was happy. She employed the services of an interior design team. She paid a fortune, but as she admired her white, gray and pink minimalist—designed haven, she thought that it was all worth it.
Her apartment stood on the middle floor of a luxurious building in a high—end area in Manhattan, just five blocks away from her office. It was a two bedroom that had two en—suite baths, a huge balcony, and walk—in closets. She placed a glass table with matching white steel chairs on her balcony which had a breathtaking view of Manhattan.
The moment her broker showed her the apartment, she immediately fell in love with it. It was expensive, but it was one of her dreams. She never indulged in other expensive material things. For quite some time now, she had been saving for this apartment, a place where she would spend the rest of her life. According to her friends, this is where she will wile away her virgin years.
Yes. She was twenty—five years old. Never been touched and infrequently kissed.
Her boyfriend, Troy Williams, lived a thousand miles away from her. They had been together for three years now, but he lived in Massachusetts. While he went to medical school, she worked as an editor in Manhattan.
Troy was old—fashioned. Traditional and quite a gentleman. He never suggested they go to bed together and she was thankful about it. Adrienne had been fantasizing about her first time all her life. She wanted it to be an intense experience. The man, the time and the place…every single thing had to be perfect.
She wanted no regrets. It had to be unforgettable. She didn't hold on to it for so long only to be disappointed. She wouldn't have sex just for the sake of losing her virginity. She wanted it to be electrifying and memorable, so that when her hair turned gray, she'd go back to that particular moment and remember it only with a smile on her face, nothing less.
Maybe she'd do it with Troy someday, but until they're both ready, Adrienne felt satisfied given the way things were.
She met Troy at a party she attended with her family. His parents were friends with hers. Adrienne thought he was cute and comfortable to be with, but not exactly her type. She usually preferred guys with a dangerous edge, cool façade and a devil—may—care attitude. But she knew too well that there's a high price to pay to be with a guy like that. There's too much risk involved and Adrienne didn't see herself as a risk taker. The last thing she wanted was to lose herself to a guy who would easily fool around with other girls. So, she settled for safe, cute and comfortable. And Troy, with his dark blonde hair and dark brown eyes, tan skin and deep dimples was as secure as a security blanket.
She recalled one of the many conversations she had with her friends about Troy.
Her best friend, Yuan Davis, once told her, "You should really think better of yourself. I think there are better fish in the ocean."
She met Yuan in college and they've been BFFs ever since. He was half—Japanese, half—American and full—on fabulous.
Her friends thought of Troy as too prim, too proper. In other words, too boring for her. They believed she deserved somebody way cuter than him. Someone who could make her laugh, challenge her mind, and encourage her to explore her wilder side.
Adrienne could understand them perfectly well. She never heard Troy tell a joke or laugh at one. And he couldn't seem to tolerate simple foibles in human behavior, even temporary things like getting wasted, occasional smoking, miniskirts or highlighted hair irked him. He was unaware that Adrienne herself had found refuge with a cigarette once in a while.
"He's like the fireman who will always water your fire!" Her other best friend, Jill Durmont said. "You have a wilder spirit than you'd like to admit. Having a guy who puts a stopper on all your flair won't help you spread your wings."
Like Yuan, Adrienne met Jill in college too. She's a petite blonde who writes gossip columns for the magazine Adrienne works for.
Troy hoped to be a doctor one day, just like his parents. Adrienne's sister, Kimberly, goes to the same medical school as Troy.
Adrienne could never be a doctor, no matter how smart she was. She couldn't stand the sight and smell of blood. She was the odd one out in a family of doctors. Well, maybe if you can't be one then marry one. And maybe that was the reason why she dated Troy in the first place.
She had a broken relationship with her mother. Somehow, she felt that her mother never loved her the way she loved her sister. And all her life, she tried her best to win her over. But she never did. Not even when she got accepted by the best universities in the country. Not even when she graduated with honors.
Instead of being proud, her mother said, "It's a very easy program!"
Adrienne earned a dual degree in journalism and mass communications. She possessed a talent for writing. She was the only one in her family who had a knack for it. Her sister couldn't put a paragraph together, her mother couldn't understand the context of metaphors and her father never showed interest in any form of literature. But no matter how good she was, her family brushed off her achievements like they were insignificant.
At the party where she met Troy, her mother introduced him to her sister first. But Troy couldn't take his eyes off her. He tried to strike up a conversation with her every chance he got.
Her mother must have really liked Troy for it not to matter which daughter he asked out. At first, she didn't know what her mother saw in him. But she became too engrossed in pleasing her that she eventually found herself enjoying Troy's company too.
But she lived in New York and he was in medical school in Massachusetts. Her odd working hours and his heavy load made it impossible for them to see each other often.
They often spoke on the phone, but they only saw each other once a month, sometimes less than that. However, she got used to their setup and thought that the phone calls and video chats were enough to keep her secure with their relationship.
What else could she ask for? He loved her. She loved him. Her mother strongly approved of their relationship. When the time felt right, maybe he'd propose to her and she'd lose her virginity on their wedding night. What else could be more perfect?
Maybe she wasn't like Jill or the other women who enjoyed sex and sleeping with their boyfriends. She accepted feeling old—fashioned and would rather wait for the right guy or for marriage. Her friends might argue that she just said this because Troy never triggered sexual feelings in her, but what if she wasn't a sexual person? What if she just felt incapable of succumbing to intense passion? Moreover, her conversations with Troy always drifted into topics like HIV, teenage pregnancy and abortion. If those weren't mood—killers for sex, she didn't know what might be.
Like her parents, Troy didn't approve of her job. Getting this apartment offered a way for her to show them that she could manage well on her own, even though she wasn't a doctor. She found a way to assert her independence and stand up for herself, regardless of what they wanted her to do or who they wanted her to be.
Suddenly, Adrienne felt glum. Ten minutes ago, she was happy and content with her life, but now, she couldn't help but feel disappointed. Thinking about Troy and her parents had that effect on her. No matter how posh this apartment seemed, her mother wouldn't approve of it. She would think Adrienne wasted her money. True, it put a huge dent in her savings, and she would require years to pay off a sizable mortgage, but when did she ever do anything risky in her life?
