“It hurts... it really hurts...”

It was deep winter, snowflakes drifting down from the gray sky. Inside a low little mud-brick house, a young man and woman were tangled together.

The girl looked no more than eighteen or nineteen.

Her skin was flushed red, her whole face tight with nerves. In those bright, lively eyes was the shy panic of someone who had never been with a man before. Her small hands clutched the broad, muscular back of the man in front of her, nails digging hard into his skin...

Nineteen was the age when a girl was like a flower in full bloom, tender enough to seem as if water could be squeezed from her. But on that nearly flawless little face, there was a birthmark as big as a palm.

It was like a silent rain falling over bright sunshine, dimming the light and leaving behind a trace of regret that could never quite be wiped away.

Bodies tangled close, the man like a silent volcano, pouring out heat and force and all the feelings he could not put into words...

“Antonia Emerson... I... how did I come back to this time... Could it be... I’ve been reborn?”

Nathaniel Ashford looked dazed. He had no time to mind the girl beside him and hurried to make sure this was not some drunken dream.

Everything before his eyes was exactly what he had lived through in his past life.

He really had come back.

Back to that winter of 1983.

On this very day, after getting drunk, he had muddle-headedly slept with a girl from the same village named Antonia Emerson.

And this was also the very day he was supposed to get engaged to his wife, Vivienne Calderon.

“Nathaniel... I’ve already given you my body. Will you marry me?”

Just then, Antonia moved closer, buried her head in Nathaniel’s chest, and asked in a soft, embarrassed voice.

Antonia had no father. Since childhood, she had only had her mother, the two of them depending on each other to get by.

Because of that birthmark on her face, people looked down on her.

Kids her age in the village all mocked her, called her ugly, and no one wanted to play with her. Most people would even keep their distance when they saw her. Only Nathaniel never minded it. He treated her kindly, like a little sister.

As time went on, it was only natural that Antonia quietly fell for Nathaniel.

And she was the kind of girl who’d do anything for him. So much so that when Nathaniel Ashford got drunk and lost control, Antonia Emerson still didn’t push him away. She just let him take her.

What a good girl she was.

But in his previous life, Nathaniel had turned her down.

Back then, he was crazy about Vivienne Calderon, crazy enough that folks in every village for miles had heard about it.

Just to get engaged to Vivienne, he’d stirred up nonstop trouble at home. Even when her side suddenly asked for another thousand yuan in bride price, he still gritted his teeth and agreed, leaving the family buried in debt.

Later on, he worked like mad and managed to save up some money. But when both his parents came down with terminal illness, Vivienne not only refused to take that money out, she turned around and handed it to her own family instead.

Because of that, his parents died full of bitterness, all for lack of medical fees.

And that was only the beginning of the bad luck.

His eldest sister, Margot Ashford, rushed to attend the funeral and got into a car accident. She never made it.

His younger sister, Sylvia Ashford, couldn’t take the blow and lost her mind. A few years later, she also died in a psychiatric hospital.

A perfectly good family had been wrecked beyond repair by Vivienne.

Nathaniel regretted it for the rest of his life. He lived in guilt every single day, and in the end, at sixty, he died of late-stage cancer with that remorse still hanging over him.

He never knew whether it was because she’d been rejected or because something else had happened, but not long after he got engaged to Vivienne, Antonia and her mother moved away from Changsheng Brigade and never came back.

Which meant this night of tenderness had been the last time he would ever see her.

Right now, looking at Antonia’s familiar little face, Nathaniel’s eyes turned red and wet.

“Nathaniel... why are you crying? Is it because you think I’m ugly? I know I’m not as pretty as Sister Vivienne... but I really do like you. I want to be your wife... would you?”

When she still didn’t get an answer after waiting so long, Antonia’s expression dimmed, and there was even a trace of pleading in her voice.

“Don’t say that. In my heart, Antonia is the prettiest girl in this whole world. I’m willing to marry Antonia and make her my wife!”

Nathaniel answered without the slightest hesitation. Heaven had already given him another chance. How could he possibly jump back into that pit of fire again?

“You’re lying!”

Antonia Emerson lowered her eyes, cheeks warm with shyness. "But you’re getting engaged to Sister Vivienne today. How’re you still gonna take me as your wife?"

She knew full well that was the truth and not something easy to change, but after hearing Nathaniel Ashford say those words just now, her heart still felt sweet and full.

"I mean it."

Nathaniel suddenly sat bolt upright. "By now, Vivienne Calderon and her mother should already be at my place. I’m going right now to call off the engagement. Just wait for my good news!"

With that, he hurried into his clothes, shoved the door open, and rushed out. He didn’t even stop when Antonia called after him. He just ran straight toward the old Ashford house at the east end of the village.

Back in those years, the Ashford family wasn’t living well either. Their house was a little bigger than Antonia’s, sure, but it was still the same kind of low mud-brick place, squat and worn by wind and years.

By the time Nathaniel got back, the room was already packed with people.

His father, Cornelius Ashford, sat at the edge of the kang, pulling on a dry tobacco pipe in silence. His mother, Gloria Ashford, and his younger sister, Sylvia Ashford, stood off to one side.

Facing them were Vivienne Calderon, Amberley Hartley, and the matchmaker, Mrs. Easmon.

The whole room felt heavy, like the air had stopped moving.

Nathaniel had no idea how far the talk had gone, so he kept his mouth shut for the moment. Better to watch first and wait for the right opening.

Amberley Hartley, her fleshy face tight and overbearing, gave him a flat glance. She didn’t seem bothered at all by how late he was.

Which made sense. Back then, everyone knew what kind of young man he was—idle all day, stealing chickens, sneaking dogs, drifting around like a hooligan. In ten villages around, Nathaniel’s bad name had spread far enough. For someone like him, showing up late to his own engagement wasn’t anything strange.

Amberley turned to Cornelius and said in a hard, threatening voice, "I’m telling you, Cornelius Ashford, if you miss this chance, don’t expect another one. It’s only a thousand yuan in bride price. If you won’t agree, then tomorrow I’ll have Vivienne pair up with Gousheng from the village chief’s family!"

She held her chin high, acting as if her daughter were some priceless treasure wrapped in gold.

But the truth was, Vivienne was already carrying another man’s child.

In his previous life, Nathaniel hadn’t learned that until the very end. He had struggled and worked his whole life, only to find out he’d spent all those years raising another man’s seed and wearing the fool’s cap without knowing it.

"Ah..."

Cornelius let out a long sigh. He ignored Amberley and walked over to Nathaniel instead. Looking at his son with tired, earnest eyes, he said, "Boy, this marriage—your dad’s settling it for you. From now on, put your heart in the right place and live proper. Don’t let the men in this village keep pointing at your old man’s back and talking."

At this point, his father wasn’t even sixty yet, but his face was already lined with deep wrinkles. His back had been bent from years of labor, and the whole look of him was more like a man in his seventies from later times.

“Nathaniel, your dad’s talking to you. Say something, will you? We borrowed a pile of money just to get you married. We can’t even scrape together Sylvia’s school fees now. You’d better make something of yourself and bring a little honor to the Ashford family!”

His mother, Gloria Ashford, spoke too, her voice full of worry and warning.

At the mention of tuition, Sylvia Ashford’s face dimmed a little, but she didn’t dare open her mouth.

That was just how things were back then.

Girls left school early. The whole family pinched every penny, all for one thing—helping the son get a wife.

Sylvia had originally tested into a key high school in Bingcheng city, but because the family had no money, she had dropped out ahead of time.

Thinking of all those old memories, Nathaniel Ashford felt a stab of guilt deep in his chest.

Part of it was because he had let his family down. The other part was the regret of losing Antonia Emerson.

Now that he had been given a second chance and come back, if he wanted to avoid the tragedy of his last life, then he could not have the slightest tie to that vicious woman, Vivienne Calderon.

So before his mother had even finished speaking, he cut in.

“Dad, Mom, I’m not getting engaged.”

Sure enough, the second those words came out, everyone in the room froze.

Gloria Ashford quickly asked again, “Nathaniel, what did you say? I didn’t hear that clearly.”

“Mom, I said I’m not getting engaged!”

This time, Nathaniel raised his voice enough for everyone in the house to hear him clearly.

Sylvia immediately reached up and touched his forehead. “Bro, weren’t you the one who insisted no matter what that you had to marry Sister Vivienne? Now the engagement’s finally happening, and you’re backing out? You’re not running a fever, are you?”

Nathaniel lowered Sylvia’s hand and said, “I’m not sick. I mean it. From now on, I’ll pay for your schooling. I’ll make sure you go to the best school there is, alright?”

Sylvia covered her mouth. Her little face, red from the cold and slightly chapped, was full of shock.

Was this really her brother—the same one who loafed around all day and never amounted to much?

Why did he seem like a completely different person?

"Boy, I know you're holding a grudge against your old man. Back then, when I wouldn't agree to your match with that girl Vivienne, it wasn't because I didn't want you to have a wife."

"It's just that our family is poor. We couldn't scrape together that much bride price!"

"Now the money's finally been pulled together, so why are you stirring up trouble again?"

Cornelius Ashford took a drag on his dry tobacco pipe, the ember glowing red for a moment. In his mind, Nathaniel Ashford was only saying this because he still resented him for trying to stop the marriage before.

Nathaniel liked Vivienne Calderon. Everybody in every village for miles around knew that.

Back then, just to talk some sense into him, Cornelius Ashford had nearly dropped to his knees in front of his own son, and even that hadn't changed Nathaniel's mind.

He simply did not believe the boy could change all of a sudden.

"Dad, before, I was young and foolish. Now I've thought it through. I'll say it one more time. I'm not getting engaged."

As he spoke, Nathaniel turned to look at Vivienne Calderon, who was still standing stiff on the other side of the brick kang, too stunned to move. "Vivienne Calderon, you heard me, didn't you? We don't suit each other. Tomorrow, go find Goushengzi instead!"