Kerri
Sometimes you meet someone, and they own your soul from the moment your eyes touch.
Sometimes they turn out to be everything you want them to be, surpassing even your greatest expectations.
But sometimes, it's all a lie.
Every move.
Every conversation.
Every touch.
The spell that grabbed you, trapped you in its erotic, painfully beautiful, dark— dark web, was nothing but a dream.
That's how I'd describe it. How I'd describe him.
Trouble.
I turn up the volume. Neil Young's haunting voice echoes in my car as I speed down California's infamous Pacific Coast Highway. "Harvest Moon" speaks directly to my soul.
It's late in the night, and the dark ocean stretches out into oblivion beside me. I don't think I've ever felt so empty. Or alone.
I don't want to cry. I can't cry.
I've survived much worse. So much worse.
I won't let him be the one to destroy me. Not him. My hands clench the steering wheel as I fight to stay strong.
He was supposed to protect me.
He said he always would.
I thought he loved me. I thought that after years of emptiness, I made him feel whole again.
But he was lying.
About everything.
Every word. Every moment. Every touch.
It was all a lie.
He played me from the moment we met.
Four Months Ago
******
Kerri
The club is packed tonight. Unusually so.
Men and women are out in droves, looking for a way to appease the hedonistic desires they hide from the outside world. If there's a place to satisfy those cravings, it's here. Gorgeous, scantily clad, or even naked women can be found in every corner, nook, and cranny. Some have bodies runway models would envy.
As far as you can see, they're hooking up in plain sight. And by "hook up," I don't mean first base. This place is about what comes afterward.
And after that.
It's place of sin… and pleasure. A place where fantasies come to life. Where any sexual desire you crave is yours for the taking.
I feel my heart rate pick up as I look around the sea of faces. The atmosphere of the club can be summarized in one word—sexual.
Butterflies twirl around my stomach as excitement floods my system.
This club gives me life. It's the only place that makes me truly feel something in my body, the only place I feel safe to be as I am.
Because my life is a mirage. Like a knockoff designer handbag, it's not real.
On the outside, my life looks perfect. I have every advantage a twenty—four—year—old woman can ask for. I'm attractive, smart, healthy, and thanks to my dad and enormous trust fund, I'll never have to worry about money in my life.
Pretty lucky, huh?
I know it.
I know how blessed I am, but sometimes knowing doesn't matter. Sometimes knowing is irrelevant because the dull, empty hole inside completely swallows all logic, and instead of feeling gratitude, I'm spiraling down a chaotic abyss of darkness.
This has been my state of being for as long as I can remember. For me, finding real happiness and fulfillment is akin to the quest for the Holy Grail. None of the roads I've taken have brought me either.
So what do I do to feel that moment of pleasure? Or fulfillment?
I play games.
I like to see how far I can push people, or even myself. And the game I like the most is the one I play here. Cat… and mouse.
I'm the mouse, and the big, bad cat is tucked away somewhere dark and hidden, just watching me.
He understands me. What I need. What I want. What I crave.
I pretend he's in the shadows, following my every move.
He's waiting for the day he's ready to finally pounce. Because as my father always says, the most satisfying prizes in life are the ones you've waited the longest to attain.
It's a mind fuck of a game I enjoy, but everything I do in this club is for that mystery man. Every move I make is an act for the fantasy in my head. Is it crazy?
Who knows, but maybe I'm hoping one day he might just come to life…
My stomach clenches at the thought. Adrenaline rushes through my veins, excitement flooding my system like an electrical surge.
Something feels different tonight.
I'm unusually restless. Anxious. As though something big is about to happen. I try to shake the premonition and tell myself it's nothing.
Just nerves.
"Holy. Shit." Wylder's barely decipherable gasp brings me out of my reverie as a naked beauty with an ass I can bounce a quarter off of walks past my best friend and me.
I look at Wylder and have to hold back a giggle. The look on her face can only be described as priceless. It seems that by bringing her here, I've successfully shocked the shit out of her.
I'm glad.
I did promise her a night she'd always remember at a club she'll never forget.
"This place is like something you'd read about in a naughty book." Her face lights up in fascination as she looks around the secret club I've been a regular at since I was in my teens.
I feel a tingle on the back of my neck and turn around. My gaze sweeps over the crowd, and I get a few curious glances, but nothing that would stop me in my tracks. The club is just as it always is. But I swear something feels different. As if someone is watching me, just like I always picture in my fantasy.
I try to shake the feeling gripping my body and look over my shoulder again.
Nothing.
"Wow," Wylder whispers as a seriously hot piece of ass gives me a once—over.
Right. Tonight isn't about me. It's about Wylder. And I want it to be perfect for her—everything she's ever imagined. She deserves it.
"And remember, Wyld, anything goes," I tell her. "If he or she approaches you and you want some, take it. No judgment. No rules."
It's hard not to laugh when I'm staring at such a shell—shocked face.
