“You’re pregnant.”
I blinked.
It was as though, since the appointment started, this was the first time I’d actually heard the doctor’s voice.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Judging by my face, he probably couldn’t decipher whether to follow up with enthusiasm or melancholy. He settled for repeating it in the exact same monotonous manner.
“You’re pregnant, Elora.”
He handed me the piece of paper, and I stared at the word. Positive.
I had come to pick up my test results for my routine checkup. Not this.
Quick thuds kicked against my ribs. I couldn’t believe I actually had a baby inside me right now. Even though I shouldn’t be so shocked, since I knew exactly how it got there.
In a normal scenario, I would rush home and throw myself into my husband’s arms while he showered my face with kisses.
But my case wasn’t normal.
Cedric and I didn’t enter a love marriage five months ago. I had transitioned from a live-in nurse to a wife because his grandfather wanted me in his family. In his words, I was going to be the perfect woman for his grandson.
It was a jarring offer, but not a deplorable one. Arthur Vandermere was like the parents I never had. And his grandson, Cedric, was a nice gentleman who treated me with respect.
So when I said yes, I wasn’t really looking for a fantasy. I just hoped for a stable family and partnership.
“I only agreed to this because Grandpa won’t hand over my inheritance until I marry you. So don’t have any high hopes,” Cedric had said to me on our wedding night.
I later realised that even stability was a fantasy.
“You don’t seem very happy,” Dr. Evans noted. “If things are complicated, or if you are worried about doing this alone…”
“No, I’m just…” The paper vibrated in my hands.
I was two weeks gone. Two weeks ago when Cedric stumbled into my room drunk and touched me for the first time.
“It’s a lot to process,” he said.
“What about the father? Is he present?”
“Yes, he is.” I suddenly felt my heart swell as I answered.
“That’s good.”
I nodded at those words because I believed this was good.
I placed a soft hand on my stomach.
I had given up on my dream of a real family when Cedric told me not to have any high hopes. But now, I finally had something to hope for.
Our little baby.
This was the breakthrough our marriage needed. Everything was going to change and my husband wouldn’t be cold towards me anymore.
I left the clinic eager to tell Cedric, though I was scared how he might react. Still, I chose to believe in the bright side.
I got home just around the time he usually returned from work and headed upstairs to his bedroom with the test result in my hand.
I ran through all the different ways the conversation could go.
But I wasn’t prepared for the sound that stopped me in my tracks.
Was I imagining things?
Then I took another step. It came again.
I wasn’t imagining things.
It was really the high-pitched cry of a baby echoing from the other end of the hall.
I pivoted away from Cedric’s bedroom and started walking towards the noise. The paper was already crinkling in my grip.
The crying grew louder as I approached one of the guest rooms.
The door of the room was halfway ajar.
I pushed the door open just an inch wider.
Cedric was in the room, still wearing the same grey suit he’d left the house in this morning. But the man wearing it looked like a complete stranger.
He was holding a baby, shaking a plastic rattle as he made cute noises. There was a huge smile on his face. I had never seen him smile like that before; never even thought he was capable of it.
The child looked around five or six months old.
We had been married for five months.
I saw the woman standing in front of Cedric, also playing with the baby’s foot. She had to be the mother. The woman whose presence had made Cedric not notice even my shadow standing just a few feet away.
I had plenty of options as to who this woman might be. But there was an answer that I desperately prayed was the wrongest one.
An ache began at my temples, beating out heavy blinks from my eyes.
The baby suddenly burped out milk on Cedric’s suit and he just laughed. While the woman used the napkin she was already holding to wipe away the mess from his chest. And as she did, they stared fondly at each other.
The gravity in the hallway must have doubled. Why else would it feel as if blood was being pulled out of my head, making my everything spin?
“It’s a beautiful sight, isn't it?”
I turned with a start to the voice behind me.
It was Cedric’s aunt, someone who had been nothing but a nightmare since day one. She looked like she had just won the lottery. It was clear she relished the devastation on my face.
And with a creeping smile, she said, “That’s exactly how things should have been before you came and ruined everything.”
I grit my teeth, my fingers further crushing the test paper.
She gazed at the door behind me and continued, “That was the woman Cedric was going to marry. But then you had to use your little tricks on Arthur to secure a place here. That boy is their beautiful child.
“So shouldn’t you be planning to excuse yourself from this family? Undo whatever spell you did on Arthur and get lost.”
I forced my eyes back to the gap in the door as I heard her footsteps retreat behind me as if her sole mission there was done.
Hurtful as those words were, they had some truth to them. I had to ask myself the right questions and give the right answers too.
Were you that starved of love, Elora?
He warned you. He told you not to have any high hopes. What then were you thinking, running up those stairs, thinking you finally found the ultimate bargaining chip for his affection? What a joke.
Just look at his eyes. All that love, and there's nothing for you in it.
I slowly stepped back from the door, and by then, the paper in my hand had been fully crushed into a wad.
I'd finally seen the truth I'd been deluding myself to overlook. I was merely an outsider here, and the earlier I let that get stuck in my head the better it would be for me.
I placed my palm flat on my stomach.
I had to focus only on what was truly mine here. Something that belonged only to me, that no false arrangement or illusion could take away.
