At first I thought it was not true, no, it is not true. I have no feelings for him. I have never had feelings for him, and I will never have feelings for him. Besides, he wanted to be with me, and then he pretends as if i want to be with him. Such people irritate me. Although my parents were warning me, I was still chatting him like a "stubborn ass". What happend me? What, Don't i remember my value as a young woman? No?

　　Sometimes it seems like I'm a dead person who just lives without getting oxygen, just wandering around on earth, searching for someone who will love me, no he shouldn't love me only because i'm beautiful or just because i have a nice body, but he should love my soul more than my body. He has to appreciate me, because I'm not just a woman, I have value, my value is greater than the thousands of miles from the sea, my value is higher than the highest mountain in the world .

　　I am not looking for a man, haha, no, i will wait patiently for the right one, because i know deep in my heart that "he" 'is not the one and if he was the one he would bother to introduce his self to my parents. But now they are no longer there, my dear parents. I still regret not listening to them. If only I could go back in time, if I could just go back on my mother's lap, and cry on her lap and tell her how sorry I am for everything I have put them in. For all the suffering I've caused them . But now I see why they were warning me. If i had listened to them it wouldn't have to come this far.

　　There is an "*Aukaans Proverb" it is actually not a saying, but just something you say : Gwentie e dw'anga mie. That is to say

let me take an example

if you are used to eating, for example, before noon

dinner

, and suddenly you no longer get food before noon, you eat it before noon hour of fog. It was exactly the same with me. Every time I tried to avoide him , he would chat me and then I have no choice but to respond . But now I don't have that feeling at all anymore, it looks like he had a spell on me and he behaved just like that. Fortunately, he did not succeed.

　　March 16

　　I have seen a beautiful young gentleman, but I always see beautiful gentlemen and I do not fall for them so no big deal. I was introduced to Raymond, he's a little taller than me

a little

, i don't know exactly how many yards but he's taller than me. He is a nice guy, visits the church faithfully because he told me

without me asking him

, I also visit the church, but i haven't been for a while because of shortage of means of transport.Ok we spoke, and he said that he has a son of 2 years

I love children, and he has a SON, a Boy

but unfortunately he is no longer with that girl called "Natasha", with which he had that child.

　　A year later I decided to get into a relationship with Raymond .....

　　To Be Continued......

　　Unknown words :

　　*Aukaans : is also a language in my country, spoken by a part of runaway slaves- the N'Djuka or Aukaners

Marron

.

　　The other part speaks *Saramaccaans* but we will talk about that another time! In my country there are alot of people from different country's brought by the Netherlands when my Country : Suriname was still in the hands of the Netherlands.

　　Hope you liked the first Chapter....

　　And Thank You For Your Support, Thank You for reading this , it means a lot to me and kindly share if possible !!!