Neva
The stars above me were twinkling with the most obvious sign of hope. The dark black sky eats them out only to be lit by the moonlight. A spotlight on all the beauty of the sky. The same moon another teenage girl could see across the country.
With this beauty came the cold air the nipped at my nose turning my pale skin a bit red and irritated. The trampoline beneath me made my body feel as if it was floating in the clouds next to the stars. A fantasy that never seemed to leave my mind.
He kissed me.
My brother had kissed me not even hours ago. I still remember the feel of his soft thin lips against mine. The nervousness his hands felt on my skin with rocky steps he came closer. I was in complete shock, I had never thought of my little brother that way. Even then, I decided to kiss back. To feel all the happiness and passion Levi gave me with just the touch of skin.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. Because I felt as if it was me and Levi against the dangerous world. That the people and its superficial things washing away into the heavens and never came back. To feel the relief of stress off my shoulders. That's what Levi gave me.
But I couldn't think of him like this. I couldn't think about his blue sparkly eyes that he never got from my mother but from the father, we had yet to meet. His light brunette hair turned blonde in the summer sunlight. The sharpness of his jaw already at the age of thirteen. His pale skin just as mine is but it glows in happiness, something I could never achieve. I could just run my thin dainty fingers through his thick soft hair all night. Hold his warmth close to my body and wrapped my long thin legs around his fit torso. Be there, in time, with him.
"Neva?" A soft unforgettable voice called through the night. I looked away from the distracting stars and at my younger brother who I had already fallen deep for. "Neva, I think we should talk."
I sighed and lifted my upper body up into a sitting position making the trampoline squeak with weight. I gave my brother a small sad smile before kicking my legs over the edge of the tramp. My skinny jeans rubbed up against the metal bar as I jump down to the floor. My bare toes wiggled in the wet cold grass and the mud beneath it grabbed hold of the sole of my feet.
"Levi," I muttered softly and shamefully, "we can never speak of it again."
Levi looked at me with sad disappointed eyes that crush my small old heart. I felt my chest tighten and the air gets knocked out of my lungs. Without him, I couldn't breathe.
"But—but daddy and father— they are siblings and they worked it out. I'm sure they would understand." He cried. "Please."
"It's not that. I just don't like you like that." I told him with each word out of my mouth being lies. "You are my little brother and I'll love you no matter what. But not like that."
"But— Neva. You kissed me back."
"It was a mistake. A lapse in judgment." I lied once again.
"No!" Levi yelled in the silent night. "No, Neva. I felt it, I may be young but I'm not stupid. You feel the same way too."
"It doesn't matter if I feel the same way, Levi. We can never happen." I growl frustrated. "At least not right now."
"What do you mean?" He asked hopefully. His blue eyes twinkled in the moonlight.
"I mean, you're thirteen and I'm barely fifteen. So not right now means not right now." I whispered as if there were people around us.
"But later."
"Levi—"
"I can wait. I can wait for an eternity."
