Chapter One

Two lines don't scream, they don't have to.

My hand shook so hard the pregnancy test nearly slipped from my fingers,I grabbed the counter to keep myself standing.

"No," I whispered. "No, no, no."

I blinked, hoping the lines would change if I looked hard enough, but they didn't.

My phone lit up on the sink ledge,Alina's name flashed across the screen, calling. I snatched it up, almost breathless. "It's positive."

"What?" Alina's voice sharpened.,"Positive? Say it, Claire."

"I'm pregnant,”

The word tasted like metal in my mouth,”I'm actually pregnant."

There was silence on the other end. Then, gently, "Okay, Okay, breathe,I'm coming over."

"Don't come, please." I pressed my palm flat against my forehead,”I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"Like what? ,Human?"

"Like a mess." My voice cracked. "Alina, how do I even do this? I can't feed myself half the time and My brother's in a hospital bed. Now there's a baby?",

"One thing at a time."

"There is no one thing at a time!",My back hit the wall. I slid down until I sat on the cold tile, knees to my chest. "I don't even know whose baby this is, you know that, right?"

Alina went quiet again, and this time the silence had weight.

"I know," she said finally. "I'm not asking you to know, I'm asking you to let me come over."I squeezed my eyes shut and the dark came rushing back anyway. Not the dark of my bathroom, The other dark. The one with no shape, no walls, only a voice above me and my own voice, small and useless.

"Please, Let me go."

My eyes flew open and a scream tore out of me before I could stop it.

"Claire?" Alina's voice, tinny and far away through the phone. "Claire, talk to me!"

I'm fine."

But I wasn't, I clamped a hand over my mouth like it could hold the memory in. "I just... I saw it again, His voice. I can't even see his face, Alina, but I hear him every time I close my eyes."

"You don't have to relive that right now.",

"I don't get a choice!" The words came out sharper than I meant. I dragged in a breath, "Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just... " I paused, then continued, "I promised myself I'd forget that night, bury it, and now there's going to be a person walking around with half his face, and I won't even know it."

"Hey," Alina's tone dropped, steady, the way it always did when I was close to the edge. "You always put yourself together every time,You'll do it again. This baby doesn't erase what happened to you, It doesn't have to mean anything except what you decide it means."

I let out a short, humorless laugh. "That's easy to say."

"I know,”

"I don't even know where I'd start looking for him. No name, no number and not even a face I could pick out of a crowd." I pressed a hand to my stomach without meaning to. "I'm not ready for you," I murmured, not sure if I meant the baby or the memory or even both.

My stomach twisted, hard and sudden.

"I have to go," I blurted and dropped the phone onto the counter before Alina could answer. I lurched to the sink and gagged, knuckles white against the porcelain. Nothing came up, My body kept trying anyway, shaking until it finally gave up and let me breathe. I rinsed my mouth and looked up,

The girl in the mirror looked like a stranger, pale, hollow-eyed, cheeks streaked and damp.

"Pull it together," I told my reflection but It didn't listen.

My phone buzzed against the counter and I flinched so hard I nearly knocked it into the sink. One new message.

It wasn't Alina, it was A number I didn't know.

“I found you.”

I stared at the words until they stopped making sense as words at all. My voice barely left my throat. "Found me ,who is this?"

My thumb hovered over the screen, refusing to type back. Maybe it was a scam, maybe it was some stranger's wrong number or some coincidence with no weight at all.

I found you.” I said, almost in a whisper. It was three words with no name attached and no explanation.

My hands were still trembling when the phone buzzed again, and this time I nearly threw it across the room, not until I saw it was only an app notification. It was a stupid reminder to drink water.

I let out a breath that shook on the way out, “It's the pregnancy," I muttered to no one, "It's making me see danger in everything."

I grabbed a towel, wiped my face hard enough to sting, then walked back to the mirror and forced my mouth into the shape of a smile. It didn't reach my eyes, It never did anymore.

I was halfway across the living room, phone still clutched in my fist, when three knocks hit the front door.

I froze midstep, I wasn't expecting anyone. Alina was still miles away, still probably staring at her own phone, waiting for a text back. Nobody else had a reason to be standing outside my apartment.

The knock came again heavier this time, more insistent, like whoever it was knew I was home and had no intention of leaving.

My heart slammed against my ribs,I looked at the door like it might tell me the answer on its own.

"Who is it?",