As a little kid growing up I was homeschooled so I never made any friends considering I was mostly home. My mom and dad worked late hours so it was just me and the caretaker till I got old enough to take care of myself. Being mostly neglected by my parents made me more insecure and an introvert so it was only natural that I was very quiet and had a short fuse. I got made fun of a lot for being lesbian and being quite open about it, why should I be afraid to tell the world who I love. I never really understood the problem with loving the same gender as yourself, I know I'm not religious and all but didn't God say 'Love thy neighbour' or something along those lines yet when someone says their gay or something else other than straight we light up our pitchforks and chase them to the ends of the earth. Quite pitiful if you think about it but that's how people are wolves in sheep's clothing.

I was a tiny thing at the age of 17, barely 5'1 with smooth mocha skin, black shoulder-length hair with light brown eyes and a thin figure. It's not like I didn't eat much, I just had a very fast metabolism which was a nice thing.

"Are you even listening to me, Lesley?" Anjelica or Anji for short said snapping me out of my daydream. Anji was a very popular girl and gorgeous, she was the captain of the under 18A Hockey team and made it well known. She was 5'5 with long blond hair, ocean eyes, fair skin and a lean but sexy body that would make anyone drool. She was currently saying some rude shit that's supposed to hurt me or something like that and I just got bored and zoned out. She chose to corner me in the girl's bathroom away from the teacher's prying eyes, causing a scene as girls wondered whether we were going to fight.

"For the hundredth time my names Belle or shut the fuck up," I angrily said, Lesley was a rude name they called me because I was lesbian so they thought it would discriminate against my sexuality by calling me that.

"You better watch yourself because I can make your life hell if you don't watch out." She warned, poking my chest with her index finger. In a fight, it was clear I would beat her up in seconds but in the verbal fight she won it a mile ahead of me.

"Remove that finger or lose it!" I warned her, my tone was hard and dangerous, she immediately removed it like I just burned her and scowled at me.

"Your day is coming so you better watch it," She said through gritted teeth, I knew what she meant but I didn't really care.

"And so will yours," I said rolling my eyes at the obnoxious girl, she huffed and left the room cursing my name. That girl was something else, spoilt brat is more like it, she annoyed me to hell.

"You alright?" One of my classmates asked me.

"Never been better." I grumbled leaving the restroom to head to class.

"Settle down you hooligans!" The teacher shouted over the noisy class. Our class was always misbehaving and getting into a lot of trouble, we were very well known throughout the school by the teachers, class 11B was a class straight from hell or as our art teacher described us. I know school was important and all but being here always drained me and just made me feel claustrophobic.

As school ended I headed to the netball court for practice and to let off some steam. I was the vice-captain of the under 18A team but I never bragged about it like some people. Netball for me was a fresh breath of air in this toxic school. It was basically my therapy session.

Adrenaline ran through my veins as I ran around the court catching and throwing the ball to my teammates with nothing on my brain but the only thought of winning and keeping our winning streak. You could say I was competitive when it came to netball but I just loved the game and since most of my teammates were taller then me I had to work harder and jump higher to reach their level. Being small actually helped me on the court as I was always light on my feet and being centre allowed me to go almost all over the court, putting it blankly netball was my life and I don't know what I would've been doing if I didn't come for the tryouts. Don't get me wrong I did other sports like hockey and swimming but I don't do swimming at school just hockey even though I was given hell every time I had it.

"Welcome back Belle," My domestic worker greeted me as I got home from practice.

"Hey, Clair, how was your day?" I asked her.

"It was wonderful, thank you, how was your day?" She asked with a wrinkled smile. Clair was a very active middle-aged woman with a dark skin tone, a plump body and black short hair with dark brown eyes.

"It was ok," I said, not really wanting to go any further with that conversation.

"You have mail from your grandma," she told me, why was grandma writing to me? Ever since my mom died her part of the family blocked us off saying my dad was bad luck or something like that. Old people and their judgemental minds, it was annoying. I opened the letter and silently read it.

'My dearest granddaughter' I laughed at that clearly she wanted something because she never liked me because I was gay nor has she ever been nice to me before.

'I write to you because I have no idea how to use that bloody phone of mine. Your grandpa has fallen very ill and requests to see you before he kicks the bucket. Looking forward to hearing from you soon

Love Granny

P.S Don't bring that ratchet father of yours he can choke on a dick for all I care'

Ya, my grandma had a colourful vocabulary and always spoke her opinion even when it wasn't wanted. She also has dementia and grandpa died years ago but sometimes she still thinks he's alive and kicking. She was a crazy old lady but I loved her anyway.

"Is everything alright?" Clare asked me, noticing my stiff figure.

"Ya everything's fine" I lied smoothly.

"Any requests for lunch?" She asked.

"Nothing at the moment but I'll make something myself if I get hungry." I told her, heading to my room to change and take a shower.

By the late evening I decided to go visit grandma who lived a couple of hours from us in the countryside.

"See you later," I told Clair, who disapproved of my plan.

"Be safe!" She yelled as I walked out the door and headed to the bus station. Since it was Friday I thought it would be nice to spend the weekend with grandma, by ten in the night I arrived at her little well kept cottage.

"Who's there?" Someone on the other side of the door asked after I rang the bell.

"It's Belle," I said.

"Oh come in." Grandma's helper opened the door and welcomed me in.

"I wasn't expecting you to come so late," she noted.

"Me neither, where's grandma?" I asked.

"In the lounge watching Hawaii five-o," she told me putting air quotes on the word 'watching', I gave her a raised brow before heading to the lounge.

"Evening gran." I greeted her once I entered the small lounge with an old tv making static noises with the screen showing black and white pixels. She was intently watching the tv like there was something playing on it.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" She asked in shock.

"It's Belle grandma and you wrote to me," I reminded her, she could never get my name right even though it was so easy to remember.

"I did no such thing and who writes these days that's what smartphones are for dummie," she said, rolling her eyes at me.

"You did write to her, Alice, this morning," Lila the helper said.

"Shut up, you old cow. I never wrote to anyone. If I did I would remember," My grandma cursed giving Lila a nasty look, I sighed and sat on the couch next to her. She was always rude to everyone so I was used to her aggressiveness every time I visited her but how Lila could handle this every day is a miracle.

"So what are we watching?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"OOh, Hawaii five-0," she happily said her mood doing a one-eighty,"Isn't he so handsome?" She sighed happily, staring at the blank screen in awe.

"Handsome right," I said awkwardly.

"Right you like girls, you're such a bizarre girl you know that," she disapprovingly said giving me the stink eye, here we go again, "Why do you like girls anyway?" She asked me, we have this same conversation about twice every time I see her.

"I just do," I said, trying not to show my frustration.

"I think it's absolute blasphemy," she muttered.

"I know you do," I said with a sigh.

"You don't need to be so rude you little cunt I was just stating my opinion. If you don't like what I said then leave no one invited you here anyway," She coldly said, with another sigh, I got up to head outside for some air. Grandma was a tricky puzzle. Just when you thought you got the picture it shifts into something unrecognizable, one moment she was loco and the next she was like any normal person.

"Where are you going Bianca, you just got here?" She asked, forgetting our earlier conversation, which wasn't even close to my name.

"I'm just heading out for some fresh air Grandma," I told her while opening the front door.

"She's such an ungrateful brat don't you think?" I heard her ask Lila as I closed the door behind me.

My name is Bellenthu Khole but I preferred Belle since it was easier to say because people couldn't pronounce the click on the 'th' correctly. My mom named me that since she always thought the name was beautiful ever since she was a kid, I for one would've preferred something simple like Lisa or Sarah.

The night air was gentle and cold with the moon shining brightly above us, it was a beautiful sight for sore eyes.

By the morning I was fed up with the insults and judgments, I know it wasn't her fault since she had dementia after all but it was just too much for me to handle.

"Bye Lila, bye grandma," I said waving to them both.

"Bye? Didn't you just get here?" She asked in confusion.

"No grandma I got here last night," I reminded her.

"Oh, what was the occasion for?" She asked.

"Lila will explain bye," I told her getting into the cab I ordered.

"Rude little turd," Grandma grumbled to Lila who sighed and helped her inside.

I could finally breathe once the house went out of view, grandma could be a handful but she was still family and you know what they say about family. They can love you easily but give them one wrong impression and they'll turn into your worst enemy in a blink of an eye, speaking from experience of course. Ever since mom died dad cursed my name to hell like it was somehow my fault that some drunk idiot would crash into us.

The night she died started out normal, I desperately needed to print my essay for class the next day but our printer was jammed so my mom offered to drive me to an internet cafe to print my essay but we never reached our destination as a drunk fool swerved and drove on the wrong lane and head collided into us. I was lucky because I was in the back seat going through my work so I didn't even notice the other car till it was too late.

The man and my mom died on impact as our car was badly smashed in the front, glass littered all around me and some cut through my skin. I was lucky to get out of there with nothing more than a concussion and a dislocated shoulder, to this day my dad blames me because if I had just waited till the morning to print my essay mom would be alive and sometimes I do blame myself why couldn't I have waited for the morning but if we were really playing the blame game my dad should've told me the printer wasn't working in the afternoon not late at night. But I never mentioned that part as I took the full blame because that's what humans do, we never take responsibility for our own actions we just blame someone else for our problems.

On the weekends Clair didn't work so I had the misfortune to spend it with my father and endure his wrath. I quietly opened the door with my key and made a beeline to my room.

"Bellenthu!'' I heard my fathers stern voice call me, my dad was a giant reaching 6'1 with black hair, a built body and alluring grey eyes. A figure that terrified anyone to the core.. I said a silent prayer to whoever was listening even though I wasn't religious but sometimes it's necessary like this very moment.

"Why were you with Alice?" He coldly asked once I entered the kitchen, he stood broodingly leaning against the counter with his arms crossed making him even more intimidating.

"She asked me to come over," I timidly said practically shaking like a leaf, being around men always made me uneasy and a little scared for my life.

"What did she want?" He asked me.

"She probably just wanted some company," I said.

"From now on don't ever go there again, do you hear me?" He angrily said, raising his voice.

"Yes sir," I shakily said, not meaning to say 'sir' but it just felt appropriate to show my understanding of his request.

"Good." He said and left the kitchen, once I heard his door close I felt like I could breathe again. With a sigh, I carried my bag to my room to do some homework, hoping to take my mind off the events of earlier.