As I walked out the doctor’s office i still could not believe the news she had given me, I couldn't believe it, it all sounded so surreal to me, i had the test results in hand and it stated i was two months pregnant. I was happy yes. But i still couldn't believe it you know, because i gave up, and because i lost him just a month ago. I lost my husband.

I was married five years to the only person who saw past my fears, and past mistakes that i did before. It wasn't up until a month ago that i lost him January 16, exactly my marriage date. And now i just found out exactly 2 hours and 6 minutes ago that i was housing a human child in my belly. I laughed bitterly. Could this get any worse? I asked myself. I used to pray, i used to read the word, i used to worship God I used to go to church on Sundays. And this is how i get paid?, by losing all that I've known in five months?. I lost my foster parents to a fire, five months ago, lost my job, a month later, lost my husband a month after, and now today i find out a supposed happy news?.

I throw my purse in my passengers seat, and bow my head a little so I can cry, I had no one left in this world, like literally no one, the only other person I had didn’t even like me.

Just then I hear a knock on my window, "Seriously we can't cry anymore?" I yell a little, so he can’t hear me, winding down my car window I put a smile on my face as I wait for the police officer to say a word, “you can’t pack here ma’am” the police man says, nodding my head yes I’m about to wind it back up when I decide otherwise as I felt this place was a nice place to brawl my eyes out. The police officer turns his head away from me, just when I decide to give him a piece of my mind. Placing my hand atop of my belly I give in to my sorrows. But then again even my private moment is intercepted by the same officer.

The police officer from earlier just stares at me like i had to understand his sadistic stare alone and then make a move to do something, it wasn't until a few seconds later i recalled what he had told me earlier.

"I'm sorry, so sorry" i call out, and then he nodded, clearing the road for me to move my car. I put my car key in the ignition and turn to leave. I wasn't thinking, it’s like the whole thought came fast, but all the same i think i became grateful, for what God had given me.

I thought about how faithful God has been, from not letting me feel the pain of losing my actual parents, to getting another set of parents, and then to meeting Joshua. And then now the baby, i wasn't one to weep. I was just part of the people that didn't know how to react, i was just part of people that lived with the shock and pain, until God knows when, i don't miss my parents, no i don't, because i never really knew them. I only just love to think of what they would look like. And i only kept praying they were good enough to make it to heaven. With that thought in mind I zoom off.

I could hear car horns and a tire screech beside me, it happened so fast, it happened so soon, it wasn't late but the effect of the sun was blinding and then i left the steering, confusion etched in the very center of my brain, and then i missed.

You know that moment when you feel like the whole of your life comes to play in front of your very eyes. Yes it was happening, and it was happening all so fast, my head throbbed as i felt my tires give out on me; my tears came to a halt when another car crashed into mine. Then all i saw was black.