Prologue

Cara's POV

His eyes suddenly flicked toward me and I stopped dead in my tracks.

My inside started shaking, my hands started trembling at my side. I curled them into a fist to stop myself from breaking. It is not the time.

My eyes pricked with tears——tears I've kept inside for the past two years.

His brown eyes bored into mine, he looked shocked— no, no, not just shocked, he looked bewildered, horrified, afraid, pained, he looked so weak, so broken.

You broke him.

I couldn't silence the voice in my head this time; I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It is the truth.

I broke him.

He stood still in his place, few meters separating us, yet the distance in his eyes can't be measured, the distance these two past years left. He didn't move, he didn't even blink.

I bowed my head and looked down unable to meet his eyes anymore. It's been long, really long since I last felt this rush of feelings, since I felt this organ in my chest beating.

I've been numb, for the last two years, I closed my heart and my mind , I closed everything, because keeping them opened would've drove me insane.

I looked up. How much I missed him; I wondered.

He blinked. I swallowed past the lump in my throat.

He blinked again. I licked my dry lips nervously waiting for his reaction.

"No—" He whispered. He let a humorless pained chuckle. He shook his head. "No—" He said again.

He rubbed his eyes, then looked back at me as if to make sure it is not a dream.

I am here. I wanted to say but couldn't, my voice failed me.

"You—" He started; you can easily detect the shakiness in his voice.

"No ! This is not real." He said, his tone so different, different from the way it was before. "Not again, not this dream again ! " He snapped angrily and shook his head.

"Go away !" He snapped; my heart cracked a bit. I tried to find my voice, "Alex—", it came so low, a mere whisper. How much I missed just the sound of his name.

His eyes widened a bit when he heard my voice, he shook his head again, he is not believing this, "Ale—" I started again as I took a step forward, "DON'T !" He interrupted me and took a step backward. "You're not real." He muttered lowly; it was more to himself than to me.

He closed his eyes and looked down, he pressed his palms against his ears, "Wake up, wake up!" He said clenching his jaw, "It's just another dream , a f*cking dream."

My heart stuttered, the first tear fell, and another one fell after it. I want to scream, I want to go back there, why I came, why I had to come back and ruin everything.

The proper question would've been, why did you leave in the first place?

I had to. To protect him.

To protect my husband.

No— sorry,

—my ex—husband.

I was afraid of this ——to see him again, I was afraid to see the result of my actions, and I had the total right to be afraid.

My chest tightened more; I forgot how to breathe as my eyes connected with his wrist.

I gasped; I covered my mouth with my hand to not let my emotions escape. But the tears alone betrayed me.

Oh my god, No.

What did I do to you?

What did I do to you Alex?

Maybe he didn't kill you, but for sure I did—

—I killed you.

You won't forgive me. Why would you?

I should've thought about this before taking my decision, before leaving, before destroying both of our lives. And our daughter's life in the process.

It is true, you were right before, I am the death of you—— this time I am.

*******

Cara's POV

You know this feeling; this constant nagging at the back of your mind, this sickening at the pit of your stomach, this heavyweight over your chest that makes you sometimes stop and just try to gasp for a breath.

You know; this anxiety, uneasiness, or maybe it is just referred to as ——fear.

I don't know, it is just, this feeling——

What is it?

What do they call it?

This trepidation. As if you're waiting for something bad to happen. As if your gut is telling you, is giving you pre—heads—up.

To prepare yourself maybe, or just to be ready, to have it in you to face what's to come.

I may sound crazy, but even sometimes, I feel as if someone is watching me. It is creepy, I know. The thought alone sends shivers down my spine.

I let out a tired sigh as I pressed my palms against the kitchen's table.

What the f*ck Cara?

What is wrong with you?

You're being so dramatic. Damn.

Everything is okay. Not just okay, everything is perfect.

You're married to a man you truly love, a man you're sure loves you back to the same extent, or maybe more. A man who always tries his best to make you happy. You're pregnant, you're going to have a child. You have the perfect job.

It's all perfect. What makes you worried then?

Maybe this perfection is why, this happiness is just—— too much, it is too good. That it makes me feel it is too good to be true.

This silence, it is not the comfortable one, I think it is what they refer to as the silence before the storm.

And everything in me is saying that this storm is not far away from here. It is coming soon. So soon.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when two arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my waist.

A gasp escaped past my lips, "You scared me !" I snapped at him before taking in a deep breath to calm my heartbeats. "Hmm." He muttered lowly as he pulled me closer pressing my back against his front, he buried his face in the crook of my neck, his lips brushed gently against my skin, his warmth made me relax for a while as I laid deeper into his embrace.

"Alex." I closed my eyes and said, "Hmm." He muttered again, his warm breath against my neck started to tickle me.

One of his hands slowly traveled from over my baby bump down my thighs and made their way under my nightgown, the warmth of his touch over my skin heated my whole body, all the previous mad thoughts fled out of my mind. "Alex—", it came as a whisper.

"Hmm." He mumbled again as he nuzzled his nose against my neck.

I slowly turned around in his arms to come face to face with him. A smile made its way to my lips, his sleepy eyes and messed up hair made him look even cuter, "You can't talk ?" I asked arching an eyebrow.

His lips lifted into a beautiful smile and he shook his head. "Shouldn't you be in my bed now ?" He said, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

"I am hungry." I said, he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me as if I grew another head, "At f*cking three in the morning ?" He said.

I shrugged, "Your dear child is hungry." I said, "It's not my fault."

He raised an amused eyebrow, his eyes traveled to my baby bump, he placed his hand over it, "You know I have a faster way to feed you." He said talking with the baby.

"We'll go to the bedroom first." He said ever—so—serious still talking with our baby, "It may look like milk when you first see it but believe me—," he paused and lifted his eyes up and gave me a wink, "— believe me, it's not."

I chuckled and lightly slapped his chest, "What d—", he was about to say something but directly stopped when suddenly the baby kicked.