January 2000

　　I am so lonely. The water temperatures here in Hawaii are so pleasant. Too pleasant. Its been such a long time since I've been able to sing openly and without repercussion..sooooooo many tourists!! And so close. Definitely not to my linking.... maybe its time I left these islands?

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　　I've been in Hawaii for as long as I can remember. I dont know if I was born, or to whom... but the tides washed me here in 1985. I can only remember people pointing at me when I washed ashore on a hard, sharp, rocky shelf next to a Hawaiian Monk Seal.

　　The people who found me, a man and a woman with a young male following them and a funny animal they called Kolohe- waded out to me and picked me up. The woman kept telling the man to leave me. I was crying, soft whimpers escaping my lips as the man brushed sand off my bruised body. The other male, their son, I came to learn, was poking at me with his grubby fingers. When the man went to put me down on the golden warm sand I stopped crying. I remember time stopped- it had been windy and the trees were whipping around. The sun was high, it was so hot out of the water, but when my feet touched the sand- everything seemed to slow down. The trees stilled. The wind didn't kick sand into my face. The boy and his parents just.... stopped. They didn't move. The only thing that moved was the Monk Seal, who looked over at me, yawned, and headed back out to sea. It would take many years for us to meet again.

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　　That is my first memory of being on land. By their guess, I was 3 years old when they found me. The family who found me on the beach in Haleiwa had decided to keep me... their son and I were close in age, he being one year older than I and at the time I guess they had a family member who worked in the State Office. They were able to make me documents, stating I was their child. If you looked at my birth record though all you would see is my name, date of birth

September 03, 1982

place of birth, Haleiwa Hawaii, and my fathers name.

　　I can't be mad at the woman for not wanting to be recorded as my mother. She wasn't. But I am mad at her for wanting to leave me that day. I am mad, I am hurt, I am angry... but most of all I am relieved. A short while after I was found, she left. Disappeared. Never came back. Her mate and her son cried. For days. Months. And finally. Years. I never once shed a tear. I remember her telling my dad to leave me that day. I remember. I never forget. I hope I never see her again.

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　　I was lucky. If my dad hadn't defied her that day, who knows what would have happened. I could have stayed there days before anyone else found me. I could have been taken by the State and become a ward of the state. I could have been taken by evil, harsh, ugly people who may have hurt me... but I was found by a kind man who became my father. A sweet boy who became my brother... and a loving dog who became my land confidant.

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　　I started dreaming of the seal when I was 5 years old. By then I had been with my family for almost two years. My dad never hid from me that I had been found. He had searched the beach for days, looking for anyone who may have lost a young girl. No one ever came forward to claim me when he went, but he did mention that whenever he went to the beach I was found at he always saw a Hawaiian Monk seal. He felt the seal was my amakua, my spiritual protector. I grew up paintinting pictures of seals, beaches, and dark watery caverns. My dad hung them all over the house, he was proud of them. I used to give my paintings and drawings to family members as gifts, until one day, I saw one of my uncles throw my painting away. I stopped giving them away after that, choosing instead to store them for me to look at later. Whenever my dad asked where I came up with the ideas for my paintings and drawings, I always told the truth... in my dreams.

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　　Our dog, Kolohe, which means 'rascal' in Hawaiian minds me of the Hawaiian Monk seal I dream about. He talks to me in my mind, he is my comfort and my confidant. He tells me when trouble

my brother

is coming. He tells me when the neighbors kids are outside

so I don't go outside, they tease me and make fun of me being adopted

. But the best thing about Kolohe, is that when I go to sleep at night, he goes with me in my dreams. His land body sleeks into a seal body, lithe and slick, fast and beautiful when he cuts thru the water. And I, with my hair streaming behind me and my arms pinned to my sides, I jet thru the warm aqua water heading for the hidden caverns with powerful flicks of my tail. My dreams are the second best place to be. The absolute best place in the world, for me, is in the water.

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　　Aloha, my name is Maia Kealaula. This is my story, as far as I have lived it. Today I am 38 years old... I have lived, let me tell you, boy have I LIVED and it was a hell of ride!