CHAPTER 1

*LAUREL*

I am on my bed, lying on my side.I had my closed palms together placed between the pillow.

From the lightning that occasionally flashed through window curtains,I knew that there was an impending rain.

My eyes moved to settle on the bedside clock which read 1:am.

Why am I awake?

Well,I certainly can't sleep when I know my husband would walk through that door any minute from now and beat the shit out of me with his whip,belt or his hand.

I am depressed housewife.

A victim of domestic violence.

My early childhood was equally sad... though I wasn't abused but I felt unloved.

My dad was a business tycoon.

He was always traveling and had little time for us.

My mom was always busy attending one social club to the other making sure she was elegant and classy.

I was the first child but I had just one sibling...a girl.

We were always left in the care of our nanny.

I don't know if my parents ever loved me but I never felt it.

And then he came along

..Eugene.

He showered me with love....at least...I thought he loved me.

He made me feel special.

He made me feel beautiful.

Let's just say I was naive then.

I was eighteen years old when I met him.

He made me give up on going to college because he said he would miss me too much and I might leave him for someone else.

I willingly gave up college because of him, I was still among the stupid ones who would do anything for love.

Eugene was five years older than me,thus,he was more experienced than me in everything.

I gave my virginity to him because I felt he was worth it.

When I was twenty,I had a fight with my mom.

She found Eugene screwing me in my bedroom and she said she didn't like him one bit.

She wanted me to break up with him.

I was livid.

She didn't care about me so she shouldn't act like she did.

Eugene suggested that I ran away with him and I agreed because I saw no use in being with my family.

I wanted to be with the only person who loved me and made me happy.

Immediately we got to Portland,we got married.

When I was pregnant,he told me he only wanted a son.

But I gave birth to twins.A boy and a girl.

Eugene told me to put the girl up for adoption.

I had blanched when he said that.

Why should I give my own daughter up?

I wanted to give my children all the love my parents didn't give to me.

I didn't want to live my life knowing I have a child somewhere out there.

His character changed toward me and I realized that was the first time I didn't succumb to his desires.

He made some ground rules.

I named the twins Aiden and Annie.

Eugene paid little attention to his children especially Annie.

He told me that I should never disobey him again and I should always worship the ground he walks on.

I wasn't permitted to go out without his permission.

I wasn't permitted to even talk to another man.

He wanted me to always be submissive even when I'm sick.

It was as if the Eugene I knew was gone and he transformed into a beast who derives pleasure from hurting me.

Now currently,why I can't sleep is because Eugene saw me talking to a man when I went to dispose the garbage bag.

The man was only asking for directions.

I just told him what way he needed to go to get to 19th Street and he thanked me and walked away.

When I turned around, I saw Eugene shooting dangers at me.

He walked close to me.

"Why do you love to defy my orders, Laurel?"He growled.

"He was just...."

"Get inside the house now!"He thundered and I hurried inside but he didn't come with me.

That was four hours ago.

I figured he was thinking of how to punish me tonight.

Oh God!What have I gotten myself into?

A sound came from the door and all the hairs on my body sprang up.

I slowly sat up.

"Laurel, you're my wife and that means you should do everything I say...that means I can do anything I want with you when you disobey me.Why are you so stubborn?You have to bend to my desires at all times and when you don't.It thrills me to hurt you, tonight you made my palm itchy"He said smiling wickedly.

Oh God!

I knew what that means.

He was going to spank me.

I hated being spanked,the same way I hated when he whips me with his belt or canes.

"Stand up!"He commanded.

My heart raced and I know I should perfectly let him be in control else he would not only spank me but flog me.

He sat on the edge of the bed.

Hesitantly,I clamber to my feet.

He holds his hand out and when I place my hand in his.

He grabbed me, tipping me across his laps.

With one smooth movement,he angles my body so my torso is resting on the bed beside him.

He throws his right leg over both of mine and plants his left forearm on the small of her back, holding me down so I cannot move.

"Put your hands up on either side of your head"He ordered.

I obey, immediately.

"Why am I doing this, Laurel?"He asked.

"Because I spoke to another man"I can barely speak.

"Do you think that's right?Will you do it again?"

"No"

Very slowly,he pulls down my sweatpants.

Oh...how demeaning and scary.

My heart is in my mouth.

I can barely breathe.

Shit!This is going to hurt.

It always do.

He places his hand on my naked behind, softly fondling me, stroking round and round with his rough palm.

And then his hand is no longer there and he hits me....hard.

Ow!

My eyes spring open in response to the pain and I try to rise but his hand moves between my shoulder blades keeping me down.

He caresses me again where he hit me and his breathing has changed.... it's louder,harsher.

He hits me again and again quickly in succession.

Holy Moses.It hurts.

I cried,my face screwed up against the pain and I try to wriggle away from the blows....spurred on by adrenaline spiking and coursing through my body.

"Keep still"He growls."Or I'll spank you for a long time"

He's rubbing me now and the blow follows.

A rhythmic pattern emerges,caress, fondle,slap hard.

My mind empties as I endeavor to absorb the grueling sensation.

He doesn't hit me in the same place twice in succession.... he's spreading the pain.

"Aargh!"I cried out on the tenth slap and I'm unaware that I have been mentally counting the slaps.

"I love my hands on you.You have no idea how much of a turn-on this is to see your ass all reddened"He said and hits me again and again.

This is getting harder to take.

My face hurts, it's screwed up so tight.

"If you wake the kids with your stupid sobs, I'm gonna take the whip and beat the shit out of you....this is fucking hot and I know your body likes it"

My body hates it but Eugene always thinks he knows what my body wants.

He continues the unrelenting rhythm.

I muffled my cries six more times.

Eighteen slaps in total.

My body is singing... singing from his merciless assault.

He pushed me to the floor.

My sore buttocks hit the ground and I winced.

"Take off your clothes and get on the bed!"

Oh no!

The other thing I've come to hate most is having sex with Eugene.

He's so brutal and it's as if I'm not a human being.

"I said get onto the fucking bed!"He thundered.

I shakily took off my clothes and crawl into the bed.

He took off his clothes and came into the bed, spreading my legs.

My heartbeat is beyond control wishing that for once...just this once...he would go easy on me.

But when he rammed into me aggressively.

I placed my hand over my mouth to muffle a scream.

It fucking hurts.

Everything he does to me hurts.

It's as if he wanted to split me into two.

"Don't"I whispered.

"Shut up!"

I moved the only bit of myself that I still have power over.

"Don't make this hard"He warned keeping me in place with his weight.

I gave a desperate thrash and Eugene slapped me across the face.

He shoved my knees up and pounded into me.

I had a second to put up a fight with my bound arms before he pinned them down together.

"Now, you're gonna get it"He said.

I made a fearful,breathy noise and was rewarded with a few violent thrusts.

"Stop"I panted."Please"

"I said shut up"

"Please stop"

"Fine, gets me hot when you beg, anyway"

I knew he felt like a god on top of me, insanely strong and powerful.

His dick drove deep,over and over.

"I can't wait to shoot in you,bitch"

I sensed him getting close and I was slightly relieved,this was going to end soon.

He finally climaxed and rolled off me.

I oozed out a delirious breath.

"Next time,you fight me during sex,you'll be sorry"He threatened.

But I just laid there, feeling numb.

He drifted off to sleep while I stood and slowly walked into the bathroom.

Between my thighs was aching badly.

My buttocks still aching from being spanked.

My bones were like jelly.

I turned on the shower and sat down.

You might be wondering why I haven't tried to run away.

I did try....with the kids who are now five years old.

But Eugene caught me.

That day,I thought I would die from his beating.

He threatened to put Annie up for adoption if I ever try to get away from him.

But I know that one day,I must get away from him before he kills me.

If he kills me,who would take care of my kids?

They are the only sources of joy in my life.

Right now,I feel as if I have been raped.

This is what I always feel each time Eugene have sex with me.

I start to wonder.

Are all men like this?

Are all marriages like this?

There's no love in my marriage.

I hate everything he represents.

I can't even remember how an orgasm feels like.

I just want him to get off me each time he starts grinding me.

He makes me feel dirty.

He makes me feel like a slave....his slave.