Andrius P.O.V

So here it is, this story started when there was a man from the far far away province who was a very handsome gardener, but he met a famous ramp model woman who captivated his heart for a while but he didn't expect trouble in his life as well.

Yes, he's literally in trouble.

The moment they hit and locked their eyes and caught his attention, he felt like he was on the brink of chaos.

Especially when they thought they wouldn't meet again but suddenly they would be trampled on again by a shaggy dog and a grumpy destiny.

He could think of nothing but planting his vast land full of blooming and beautiful flowering plants. That's all he was thinking, then. But from the moment he saw that woman, it seemed as if the beautiful image of that woman had been planted in his brain.

He didn't know why.

Maybe their first meet wasn't good for the first time? When he thought about that for a long time, he was irritated. He only saw her for a moment, but why did it have such a strong effect on him? They didn't have an interaction but it seems like even

for a moment, he still not forget that woman in his mind.

Why is he freak'n thinking of her?

Back then, he was just thinking differently. Many things. Things and not about... a woman, not about her. Besides, before that woman crossed to his mind, this was all he could think of and persecute in his life—

Dude, it's hard when you're an adult. And yeah, I'm talking about me.

I started to think that when I almost felt like I was alone and living myself. That type of your colleagues, your friends, cousins and some of my relatives, apart from being successful, they also have their own family. I know I'm not the only feel this way but I know you can feel it too.

And if you are still single, I know you feel me, I know you can relate because we are going through the same thing. They seem to be saying that, are you being left behind? Like a ghost but alive and living like a ghost. Looks like a hopelessly sugar supalonely buddy.

It's natural, aside from the fact that you have a lot of responsibility, you can think of a lot more that you can plan for your future. Like, finishing your college masters degree, get a job right away, help the family daily needs, buy a lot of land, build a grand house, clothes, car, and so on.

I know, I know dude.

We all inevitably have things we can think of now, that we never thought like that before. Isn't that really the case? That one day, you suddenly think about what your next future will be.

They say, if you cannot move, you have no destination. You just stop in the middle of the road while looking stupid stunned inside the car. While some other cars, they preceded you. They are already passing by you. You feel like you are in a competition but you are the one who performs fucking badly. But for you, you don't think about that because you don't fucking care about that thing yet.

You are not waiting for anything, but it looks like someone is waiting for you that you need to go there to fetch her but you don't know where it is and it seems like you ran out of fuel because you still not moving. You didn't start the engine, don't even want to move your hand to start maneuvering because ... maybe, maybe you are not ready to leave yet, right?

But what if I just stopped?

For as long as you do not move, it seems like nothing's new happening in your life, nothing is missing, nothing is coming, nothing is increment, nothing is changing. And it's infuriating when things aren't new and you just keep repeating what's going on in your life.

You don't feel the time, the day, and the weather. You are also afraid that you might miss something at the destination you are going to. You have no other thought but one. But now it's different, I also think a lot of things how it is? Just like...

What will really be my future?

I have so much to do in life. But I think in a few years I have done the things I should do in my life.

I got it all.

I'm happy with what I've done. But I feel something is missing. I think, even with the things I got out of it, I realized, even though I had gotten everything in my life I felt like I had forgotten something else. I don't know if this thing is a person or something ... something small or big? Or something good vision, bad event, or anything.

I don't know. I don't really know anymore. I feel like I still feel dissatisfied. It looks like you have nothing to look for.. but something is missing. When I realized that, it was just another thing I had never done...

"When are you getting married?" that is what they always say to me.

Not only did they ask me that one, two, and three, but many times. I realized that even though I had been hearing that and thinking over and over again, the question wouldn't disappear from my mind.

Like when? Because even I, I don't know. I know it's a big responsibility for me and it's not instantaneous. But how will I do it even if I know for myself that I have not?

Marriage.

Marriage is not just a word. It's a sentence.. it's a whole life and it's a lifetime. And yeah, how can I start? How? Where? When? Who? Am I ready for someone to tie a knot?

Dear future you,

Where are you? I hope, someday I will found you..