AIRA

I never had any fun childhood memories, highschool memories or even memories that i need to treasure before i die. Or Moments where i experienced what life is, i never had anything to lose.

That's why when my doctor diagnosed

me for having an incurable disease i remained calm and composed.

“Ma'am i am very sorry to say this but you don't have much time left.”

Most people would cry after hearing those words, as if the burden of the world is placed on their shoulders, they would agonize the idea of dying.

because most of them has something to lose.

But there are some of that majority that had nothing to lose. no shoulders to lean on, no arms to cry on and ears to borrow if you want to be heard. i guess i am part of that minority.

no friends, no family and only me and my dull memories.

i snapped back in reality when the bus i've been waiting for horned on me. Hugging my thick jacket tightly i proceed to step inside the bus.

“the rain finally stopped pouring” i whispered to myself.

as i let my eyes wonder outside, i came across to many people that are laughing, having the time of their loves and the ones who are lonely. i can't help but imagine myself if only i had friends, will everything change for me? will i have another future? will i be happy?

i pressed my eyes close, tightly. trying to stop myself from thinking unnecessary things, trying to stop the emotions that are slowly building inside of me. Everything i feel right now is futile, my end is approaching and i have no choice but to accept it.

Every night I go to bed

And take a trip inside my head

And I wonder exactly what my purpose is

a familiar song enveloped the whole vehicle.

Do I live to see one hundred

Am I rich

Or am I poor

i find myself smiling from ear to ear and singing to the song. i opened my eyes and explore my surroundings, there are different strangers in the bus. a mother holding her sleeping child, two young girls in their school uniform giggling to each other, a man that looks exhausted and a pair of lovers.

I wanna take a journey to the end of my life

'Cause I just wanna see what it's like

Am I loved

Am I hated

i also want to be loved. to be heard and to feel happiness. I don't want anyone to control me again, to lead me to a life i never wanted.

if i can take back time, i will do everything to live a life with no regrets.

the bus suddenly moved violently, throwing people out of their seats. my heart started beating faster, my breath hitched as if i can sense something is definitely wrong. i roamed my eyes searching for something i cannot explain, maybe i'm searching for the cause. even the other passengers are curious, but before i can search for the cause another passenger screamed.

i look at the back of the bus and saw bunch of cars piling behind the vehicle. the fear of dying suddenly enveloped my system.

for a second i thought i was deaf, the sound of people screaming and crying seemed to render my ability to hear. the bus continue to move violently and this time it was worse.

i was thrown out of my seat landing on another person's seat beside mine. i can hear the deafening screams of the other passengers.

the bus driver stirred the steering wheel to the right side and that was then i knew this is my end.

time suddenly slowed, shattered glass in the air and the faint sound of horrified screams. i can feel their fear as much as i can feel mine.

but even in the last moments in my life, i still have regrets. i wished that i wasn't a good daughter, i wished i was a rebel that atleast i can lead my own life.

i wish i am my own person. i wish that i know how to make friends, i wish that i have lived my life to the fullest.

i wish that i confessed my love for him.

i wish to have another chance in life.

the time suddenly went to a normal pace. the last thing i saw is when the bus jumped into the cliff and everything went dark.

a few minutes of darkness.

then a faint sound of people chattering above me. i can hear myself breathing heavily.

is this after life?

“What are we gonna do with her? ”

“Call the teachers now!”

“Aira just fainted!!”

huh??

I opened my eyes slowly, my vision are still blurry. i can't see clearly the faces of people that are standing infront of me.

my body is laying down on a cold floor. it took several minutes for my vision to clear.

and the first thing i saw is the face of the man i dreamed to share my future with.

Yuri.