What is love?

I know I love my parents and my three younger sisters but that's it.

I never felt anything toward other people like what I feel to my family, is that mean I don't love them?

Born in an ordinary family that struggles with money, I learn how to survive the hard way.

Especially when you're the oldest one and your parents depend on you to take care of your three sisters while she is gone for work, I never have time to learn the teenager love like the other.

So, you could say that I suck at it.

I have boyfriends, which most of them dump me because I'm too serious and never act like a caring girlfriend because anytime I had a phone call from my family, I will go back home to try to solve the problem.

Being the oldest one when you have three younger sisters surely takes all of your time especially when they start learning about boys.

Ugh.. the worst time of my life has to explain sex education with them so they understand the do's and do not to do with your boyfriend, I also have to tell them the result if you even try to ignore my warning by having sex with your boyfriend.

why not your mother who explained it?

Well... She has a double job as a waitress in a Cafe at night and a receptionist which surely takes her energy. so being the wonderful oldest sister I am, I start to cover her job as their mother to make sure my sister had everything.

I studied harder to get the scholarship because I know my parents don't have the money for my college.

My father who is only a contract worker had to stop working after a horrible accident to cost him both of his legs.

That's why my mother starts working double shifts for our family.

When I was 16, I have my first job as a waitress in Burger King so I could help my family with their financial problem and since then I realize that I am the only one who could help my family with money.

I start working harder...

I also try to be the best in school because I need the scholarship, so at a young age, I didn't know what is having fun.

All I ever do is work for my family, even when I get accepted in a scholarship for Business Administration, I still have time to work so I could send the money for my family.

Time flies... 18 years old, 20 years old and now I am 24 years old, a grown woman who has everything and could support my family in my hometown with the money I get from working in Jones-Johnson n Partner, one of the biggest law firms in New York as Mr. Johnson trusted assistant.

I have everything that I ever dream of, money, a huge apartment, a car, even I bought a big house for my family in my hometown.

That's all I have in my mind, working hard for my family, never crossing my mind for a boyfriend, or settling down to build my own family because looks like no one know how important my family is for me so they always comment when I keep most of my time taking care of them even though I am living on my own across the country.

I'm only 24 and still young so I have time, that's what I keep thinking.

Until...

Tomorrow I realize that I am 30 years old and next month my youngest sister will bound her hands into marriage so I am free, free from the obligation to raise them.

But, what should I do now?

All I ever know is taking care of my family?

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