Tessa Jenna Blake
Beautiful Tessa; the shy girl next door, who loved to ice skate in her free time, getting lost in her own world, and on some occasions fixing cars in her dad's shop. Her eyes would twinkle like a diamond engagement ring. Her rosey pink smile would stretch from ear to ear. Now when she smiles she hides the tears of pain given to her from her own flesh.
If you heard her laugh you would agree that it was addicting to hear. Now its as if you heard the moon cry for his lost friend. Her skin that once glowed sun kiss is now left pale as a sheet.
I met her along time ago in a sea of crimson music. The group and i came to lose ourselves for the same reason when we saw her drown herself in darkness. It's what happened next that i am still in shock myself. In the streaming lights of reds and blues did i saw what looked like a small silver pipe; but little did i know that pipe was a gun!
The looked to be a .38 snub nose krome. Polished to the point when the light hit it a certain way it would reflected off it as if pointing a light at mirror.
The erie feeling i felt as i watch her load the pistol with what looked to be hollow bullets into the cylinder. All the while as i raced to reach her in time.
Just as she clicked the cylinder into place and pulled slightly back on the hammer
the part that clicks back on top of the gun
just as she places her finger on the trigger getting ready to pull back on it. Tears racing off her beautiful face. Just watching this happen made my heart race even faster. The group not knowing what was going on followed me until seeing for themselves what was about to happen. Without a second thought we try to catch her attention before slowly approaching her.
It was easier to ask her, but harder for her to put down. Slowly very slowly we managed to pull away the gun safely. Next thing we all knew she collapsed onto the floor crying even harder than before. Many years have passed since then. Each one never to forget that night.
I loved her in life and in secret. I stayed by her side watching over her as if she was a delicate glass rose that could shatter with one touch. No one knew my feelings for her.
No one noticed my lustful gaze that fell on her when she visited me at home or the bile of curses I swallowed when i saw her useless tool of a boyfriend touch her. I wish I could reveal to her how i felt about her, but it was too late.
Tessa grew up in an abusive family all her life. She once thought that her and her siblings would stick together even in bad situations. But like everything else in her life they grew to despise her. They treated her as if she were a doormat, a footstool, ground to walk upon.
It was bad enough that they called her names. Such as pig, cow, elephant, etc. Her brother even slammed his shoulder against her's when passing by him. When she would complain to her mother about the treatment she received from either her younger sister or older brother she would just shrug as if nothing was said and moved on with the day. Her mother was a selfish being.
Manipulated her way through life while barely taking care of her kids. When questioned if whether she loved and took care of her kids of course she would say yes. But in secret they fended for themselves. Weeks upon weeks they would go without home cooked food, clean clothes, baths or showers, even went as far as punishing the kids for anything, and everything.
I remembered watching her mother hit her son with a studded belt on the back side of his hands. Later resulted in little bruises. I hated her mother with a passion.
Her father barely able to take care of himself let alone three kids. Worked himself to the point of neglecting his health all to make sure he had food for his kids.
When my sweet flower was 5 years old her mother took her away from her father to live with a man she wished she never met in the first place. Barely able to see her father on the weekends due to her mother cancelling on him and telling her kids that their father didn't love them. You could see how much it impacted the kids Their mother no matter what she did would always make excuses for her behavior expecting them to forgive her right away.
The only way her father could see his kids was if he gave her money to "spend for the kids" when most likely she spent 80% of it on herself and the 20% would be for the kids.
It bought a lot of cigarettes, alcohol, make-up, jewelry, shoes, clothes, etc for the mother. While her kids suffered being the way they were.
She barely took the kids to dentist appointments, eye appointments, and sometimes even doctors appointments. I remember a time when she would use a belt on them when they got into trouble. She wasn't paying attention and ended up missing entirely hitting the back part of her daughter's leg. It soon turned black and blue.
My sweet princess couldn't sit down on that leg properly for a week. The mother took it a step further sometimes. Her boyfriend at the time took interest in my beautiful girl at the age of 11 she told me that a week later he had abused her. She begged me not to tell a soul about what happened to her.
She felt like no one would believe her if she told someone the truth. Many years later she would soon find out that she was right. I've known her since she and i entered the 2nd grade together. I've been there through her ups and downs. She carried the world on her shoulders. I've seen her struggle to the point of exhaustion. We as her family have carried her.
We fight for her when her strength to fight is almost done. We suffer with her when her voice is to hoarse to speak. We cry for her when the pain is too much to bare. I love her when no one else would.
I... I just couldn't believe that the ending to a once beautiful dream came to a sudden sadness. What was once a beautifully broken soul turned to a bottomless darkened hollow.
