"Won't you come in with me?" I asked with a hopeful heart but that hope was shattered by her reply.
"There's no need for that. I've talked to him already so he'll handle everything. He sent me the school's bank details so I'll just make all the necessary payments." She replied with a straight face. Period! There was nothing more to that.
It was so typical of my mom to refuse to walk me in on my first day in a new school-another new school-as every other mom does. It was so normal and just naturally expected.
I sighed as I alighted her old, weather-beaten Chevrolet. As I stood beside the car, I knew it was just an illusion in my head for her to come down, give me one or two words of advice and then probably a hug. But a tiny ray of hope that it could actually happen was in my heart.
What I totally didn't expect -or maybe I expected it but didn't want to accept it- was that she would just zoom off without a care in the world. Although, I heard the indistinct murmuring of 'take care', before the car took off down the street.
I sighed again in depression. Of course I knew that was how everything would play out. But there was just this little conviction that it could be different this time.
My relationship with the woman who gave birth to me was very much strained. If there was only one reason I regreted coming into this world, it's all the pain and sorrow I've brought her way. I felt my dry eyes beginning to turn moist and I quickly blinked them away. That was not time for tears. The task ahead was what mattered.
As I turned around, the enormous gate of my new school stood before me. I was not bothered by the streams of students moving all around me as I took in the length, breadth and height of the building. I was suddenly jolted out of my reverie when a student bumped into me from behind.
"Sorry" He mumbled as he hurriedly moved past me. I quickly decided to find the principal's office . As I looked around, I became confused. The school was very large and I was not sure which direction to follow. I stood at a spot and slowly turned around in exasperation.
Then all of a sudden, I saw the school map by the side of a building and instantly relaxed. The last thing I wanted to do was to ask for directions from any of the students. I was determined to stay away from all human contact as much as possible.
A sarcastic laughter escaped from my mouth as I thought about it. How exactly was I going to do that? Being in this sort of environment, you're bound to socialize right? But I have only one reason for this crazy thinking of mine; I AM CURSED. Yes, you heard me right but going into all that would take forever.
As I walked towards the school map, I thought about how much of a roller coaster my life was, with so many ups and downs. A painful smile lit my face as I thought back over the past seven years of my doleful life.
"I truly am a curse" I murmured to myself with another sarcastic laughter as the tiniest sting of tears appeared at the corner of my eyes.
I stopped midway as I began to get weird looks from some students around. Yeah, everyone might just be wondering why any sane person would just be laughing to herself like a complete psycho. Especially when there is absolutely nothing to laugh about.
But if they heard my story, they would probably laugh too because it was painfully hilarious. Shaking my head vigorously, I took deep breaths to steady myself.
One year, four schools. Quite a record right? I have no freaking clue how I'll cope and at least graduate being in senior year. My life is total messed up and my academics had been greatly affected.
But I just have to try. At least graduating well could be one of the ways I could appreciate my mother for everything she's done for me.
As I moved towards the map, I noticed a few pair of eyes following me. I had stopped laughing so I had no idea why I was still being stared at. I cringed internally, hoping to the heavens that I would be totally ignored. My legs, acting on impulse, began to quicken their steps and in a few seconds, I was in front of the map.
I began to study the thing carefully and with the full assurance that I wouldn't get lost, I mentally prepared myself to meet the principal and every other person.
"You can do this. You just have to be calm, brave and courageous. Everything... is going to be okay" I kept murmuring these words of encouragement to myself as I closed my eyes and rubbed the sides of my head with the tip of my fingers.
"First day jitters uh? It sure looks like I'm not the only one." I froze when I heard those words directly behind me. Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and turned around.
A warm smile graced my view and as I allowed my eyes to travel, I noticed the jet black, low-cut hair, slightly pink lips and smoothly bronzed skin. I immediately brought my gaze down to his clothes as I was very determined not to look at his eyes. I heard the stranger chuckle.
"Don't be shy. I'm also a new student here. My name is..."
"Glad to meet you to. I have to go now. Bye-bye" I hurriedly said with a fake smile and as I turned to the side, I zoomed off still with my eyes down. Immediately I was out of his view, I breathed a sigh of relief and was able to lift my gaze to view my immediate surroundings.
I felt a bit guilty but I couldn't turn around to see the probably dumbfounded face of the innocent boy. Not knowing the colour of anybody's eyes would make my life much more easier in this school.
With a straight face, I totally focused on finding the principal's office and after two minutes, I was before the huge wooden door. Taking deep breaths again, I gently knocked.
"Come in" I heard the baritone-like voice of the man who paid my mom and I a visit a few days back.
After a few seconds of mental therapy, I turned the handle of the door and walked in with slightly shaky steps.
Walking into the office, I swiftly viewed the whole room before letting my gaze fall on the tall bespectacled man that was bent over some paperwork. He instantly sat up when I walked in.
"Good morning sir" I said as I nervously played with my fingers.
"You are welcome young Lady" He replied with a slightly warm smile. "Have a seat" He said as he pointed towards the sturdy brown leather chairs in front of him.
He studied my face for a few seconds as he swayed on his rocking chair and my anxiety greatly increased. I couldn't dare to look at him.
"How is your mother?" I heard him ask. Staring at him for only a second, I cleared my throat and responded.
"She's doing very well sir" And after a few seconds, he became very serious and began talking nonstop.
"Lily, I'll be very quick with you because as you can see I'm extremely busy." He began as he indicated the numerous files on his desk with a swift wave of his hand.
"As you know, I spoke to your mother about everything when I visited a few days back and I only accepted to do this because... Well, your mother and I are old friends and this is my own little way of helping her at a time like this. But I want to seriously let you understand what is happening and what may likely happen in future for some certain reasons."
He stared at me over the rim of his glasses. Then he abruptly stood up and went towards the huge shelf by the wall.
"But before all that, I think it would make it official to start with an introduction. As you know, I am Paul Griffin, the principal of Atlantic Coast Academy." He was carefully searching for something on the shelf as he spoke.
I studied him through my side view. He was tall, tanned and very broad by the shoulders with his grey suit and red tie fitting his frame perfectly. He looked very much like someone who worked out regularly. Soon enough, he returned to his seat with the needed folder.
"Now Lily, I'm going to be very sincere with you. I am sure that you are aware that it is very difficult if not impossible to get admission into any school right now because you are in your final class but I'm bending some odds just to make it happen here." He was studying the folder in front of him as he spoke.
"Secondly," He began as he lifted his gaze to face me and I quickly sent mine towards my fingers.
"You were in four different schools in the last twelve months. I didn't really go into details of the reason but having that kind of reputation, it is almost impossible to get admitted anywhere most especially Atlantic Coast Academy with its high standards. I'm sure you understand now how much I'm trying to help you with my position" Mr Griffin said with a very serious expression on his face.
"I understand sir." I replied with a shaky voice
"I understand you're going through some... well, unexplainable things so this is the most I can do to help you. I know Alexa is probably not the woman I knew years back but you're her only child. This is the most I can do for her as well. For whatever reason that you left your other schools, you have to make sure you are serious this time. You just have less than a year before saying goodbye to high school so, do not blow this chance." He said with a more serious expression, stressing the last phrase with all seriousness
I could feel his gaze on me and I felt the tension rising. Swallowing a lump in my throat I replied with as much determination that I could muster.
"I won't let you down sir" And I really hoped that I could keep to that promise.
"Okay. With the most important things said and understood, hand me your data." The warning session was over and I was more than glad we were back to the normal, official business.
" I'm not supposed to be handling your admission but for obvious reasons..." He said as he studied the folder I gave him. After a fifteen minutes oral and written tests, he gave me a file and directed me to the student affairs' office. At the door, his voice went through to me again.
"Lily, remember how you got here. Do not make me regret doing this" He said and as I turned around , I made the mistake of staring straight into his eyes. Throughout the meeting, I had tried really hard and had succeeded in not staring at his eyes but now.
For a while, I went motionless and just stared straight into his eyes which turned dark and became a deep abyss for me. But after a minute I vigorously shook my head, clearing the images that popped up right in front of my eyes and taking deep breaths at the same time.
"Lily, are you okay?" I heard the man ask as he rose to his feet. I was far from fine and desperately needed to leave his office before something terrible would happen but I couldn't tell him that.
"Yes yes, I'm fine. Sir, I just want you to know how grateful I am for this opportunity and I promise not to take it for granted" I replied with my eyes on the floor. "Thank you Sir" I concluded and instantly opened the door and went out of the office.
For a few seconds, I leaned on the door with my eyes closed. That was too close and I wondered by what magic trick I would survive in this school. It was looking like a bleak and hopeless journey but I just had to move on.
"And the sad story of my life continues" I murmured sullenly to myself and sighed. Preparing myself both physically and mentally, I moved towards the next phase.
