I saw her fake eyelashes and curled hair tips moving. Her bracelets made a dry sound against each other. Her tongue was long and soft and seemed to wrap itself around me. Just as I was about to come, she suddenly moved away and began slowly to undress me. She took off my jacket, my tie, my pants, my shirt, my underwear, and made me lie down on the bed. Her own clothes she kept on, though. She sat on the bed, took my hand, and brought it under her dress. She was not wearing panties. My hand felt the warmth of her vagina. It was deep, warm, and very wet. My fingers were all but sucked inside. …

" I can't forget her , she took everything with her . "

It dropped ice to the bottom of my stomach. I thought of the ruined Body of Lara I'd seen, including me myself had ruined. I realized that I had somehow expected that I'd never have to think again about the way people damage other people but somehow I find myself in those people.

It's been two years since Lara left us alone. Everything changed in those years and Emily, Billy and Charles, Sarah we haven't seen each others after the funeral of Lara.

My life change after Lara death everything seems left out of my body, my soul and my heart, my happiness everything she took with her.

I pay visit to her every day in the cemetery.I stopped in St. Bernadette's Cemetery one places... The trunks of six giant oaks rise like columns supporting a ceiling formed by their interlocking crowns. In the quiet space below, is laid out an aisle similar to those in any library. The gravestones are like rows of books bearing the names of those whose names have been blotted from the pages of life; who have been forgotten elsewhere but are remembered here.

There were dozens of stones of all sizes in the small meadow. Tall stones, bigger than either and small ones, just the right size for sitting on. There were some broken stones.

Walking in the cemetery, holding a banquet for Lara. I stop in front of Lara grave , bending down on my knees I place the flower banquet on her grave .

I stand still inhaling the beauty of our memories, Flashbacks of our togetherness burn my flesh

and I breathe love through every single skin pore.

" Hi, my love see I brought your favorite flowers . "

Tears had poured from my eyes without any change in my facial expression. It’s pure pain and pure surrender when my soul cries without any fight from my body and that’s how I knew I was deeply affected.

Are you there? I call for you.

I've been calling your name,

Searching every place in my mind to find you,

I've lost count of the days, the hours, minutes, and seconds.

The world that looked so vast is now small and empty.

Did you take all the magic with you?

Or perhaps the world is in pain like my heart because it's lost your spark.

" Why you leave me alone ?

" Mr. James ! Mr James! I heard Robert Said.

I face it,around and got up on my feet and ask him,Why is he disturbing me?

" Mr. James you forgot your phone in your car and Madam is calling you."

I take the phone from his hand and place on my right eat.

" What?? Why did you call me?there must be something important that is why you disturb me? I said in the harsh tone.

" Sorry, James I was just wandering will you come home for dinner or like stay out like every single night."

" You know, my answer very well then don't waste my time Natalie."

" I am sorry, James but your mom is coming tonight for dinner that is why I ask you?

" My mother! WHO TOLD YOU TO INVITE HER FOR DINNER!!!

" James, how long you are gonna treat your mother like that? it's been two years everyone forget about that accident but you don't want to forget about that."

My Jaw clenching, my nostrils flared as I felt a gush of blood flow.

" YOU ARE NO ONE! WHO TALK'S TO LIKE THAT? I WILL NOT COME FOR DINNER AND DON'T CALL ME IF IT'S NOT AN EMERGENCY." I Hung up the call and told Robert that don't pick my call again.

" My apologize Sir this won't happen again . "

" It better not be . "

I glance back on the Lara's grave and told her that I will come back tomorrow.

Then I told Robert to take me to the office . He Nod's and we both walk out of the cemetery to my car .

Natalie POV

He hung up my again. I'd been caught up in the middle, of one of those awful days,

When nothing seems to go right, with glitches and delays.

I glance on a glass vase filled with violets leans precariously against a wall. The only thing saving the vase from a thousand-piece death on the hardwood floor is the groove in the nightstand's surface that catches the bottom of vase, and of course the wall itself. The violets, nearly a week old, droop in the light of a waning gibbous moon. Wrinkled petals are already piling up on the floor between the nightstand and the wall, and I was looking dying bouquet from my bed.

Tear's start rolling over eyes, I was dying in pain and from the hate of James. Its been four years. Lara took away my happiness, my James away. Everyday I have been living like in hell. I did everything to get James but she didn't let that happen even after her death. This house, these lifeless stone witness that, How much I suffer these two years, six months and eight hours ten minutes and eight second. These Wall are witness how many nights I cried, sob alone crawling in this bed.

Do I deserve this? NO! I don't deserve this then why me? why me only? why am I suffering alone?