Sometimes, life makes us stand at the line where we are forced to think what will we do, if the person whom we love most in this entire world dies? And in front of us, with the worst in our hands?

Then I remind myself that sometimes, life makes us experience this situation first-hand...sometimes, second, and sometimes, nobody knows for how long those stories and experiences have been traveling…how many miles they have run, how many years they have counted.

I also have a story- a story of losing my wish, my will and my reason to live, the story of losing my love, and my life forever after.

Today, on December 12, four years ago- I lost the only reason for which I had been living. I am not living now, because I'm pretty sure that dragging your body and taking in breaths just to function can't be classified as living.

But I can't die as well, because the day I lost him was the day I found the most precious responsibility of my life- my son.

Arin! The reason for my survival, the child whom I had found just after exiting the operation theater, after being completely responsible for the death of my soul, and him.

Yes, I am the culprit and yet the victim of this twisted situation, because I am Arena Altham! The famous surgeon of the city, who is known to have an entirely impeccable career, with only one death in the whole history of her career- the one death!

I wanted to laugh! Laugh at my helplessness, when I heard a faint cry in the corridor.

My heart started racing as if it could leave my body behind, and leap to him.

'My boy, my Arin...why is he crying?'

I rushed towards the lobby, and saw the flurry of butlers and maids circling him, and offering him whatever he could find interesting.

'But how can they forget that even though I haven't given birth to him, he is my child. My son, so he definitely has to be as stubborn as me! But there was one thing, thankfully; that he was not as cold as me- or say, the new me.'

"Arin, child, come here! Come to mumma, and tell me, what happened?"

Before I could have formed the whole scenario and linked the conclusions in my thoughts, I heard someone speaking- someone whose voice was a whole lot like me.

"Mum-mumma... mumma!"

My poor kid raced towards me with his small wobbling legs.

I bent down and picked him up and wiping the fat tears from his pink cheeks, I asked, "What happened to my brave and bold boy Arin? Why is he crying?"

"Mumma, I want a Dad!"

He dropped the bomb on me once again; it was the third day in a row that my poor kid had asked me for something that I can't give to him.

'What the hell is wrong with this society, that they have to teach children that a kid needs to have both parents in their life for the sake of normalcy?

And what was wrong with me that I accepted the proposal of sending my Arin to pre-school?!

That's it! He won't be going back to the place where my child has to suffer the unintentional bullying of other innocent kids, who are just acting according to societal norms.

No! My child will not be following those rules that make him feel excluded. I will be arranging homeschool for him from tomorrow...but for now, I have to calm him down.'

Thinking this, I looked at Arin, who was trying to place his little head on my shoulder with the thumb of his left hand in his mouth, holding my back with the small palm of his right hand.

'Sometimes, I have a sudden realization and get panicked at how I have raised this little creature to a big yet extremely small boy...how tiny and fragile his body is!'

"Arin, baby, who is mumma's favorite boy?" I asked the question I knew he always had the enthusiasm to answer.

But he kept silent, and my heart just missed a beat.

'Is he alright…?'

I quickly jerked his head backwards carefully, and held him in my stretched arms. Spinning him around to check if he was fine or not, I shouted for the maids and butlers to bring water and milk- whatever they could, in a hurry.

Almost ten of them ran in different directions to get the required things, only leaving two maids and uncle Shefford there.

It took a few minutes to confirm that Arin didn't have a fever, but his eyes were swollen because of crying.

'It was true that he has definitely never cried this much before, and I also left him today, for some time. Evidently, I can never be a good mother.'

Looking at uncle Shefford, I asked in a shaking and low voice, as he had been there with me after my mother passed away. He and the maid, Maria had almost raised me up; if I leave- nevermind, they shouldn't be mentioned here.

"Uncle, what if something has happened-"

"Shh! Arene! Nothing will happen to him, he is just tired of crying, and a little drowsy. Just take him with you and feed him."

"Okay uncle. Maria, send the maids to my room."

Saying this, I gathered Arin in my embrace, holding him tightly to my chest as if somebody was ready to snatch him from me.

I started to climb the stairs to my room, and as soon as I sat down on my bed and placed him on my lap, I heard the faint voice of my son again.

"I. I am mumma's favoulite boy."

The sound made me realize that my heart had started beating again.

I looked at him and spoke with a miffed tone, "When you had heard the question, why didn't you reply earlier? Do you have any idea how badly you have scared your mumma?"

"Solly mumma, but I leally want a Dad! Can't you buy me one?"

No matter how tense or mad I might get, my son's cute mistake of replacing r with l has always been able to make me happy. But today, this happiness came with a price tag named 'Dad'.

I asked him, without thinking about anything, "Arin...why do you want a dad? Don't you love mumma? Doesn't mumma love you back? Do you want a Dad because you think mumma loves you less?"

"No! My mumma loves me the most, I am hel favoulite boy. And this is why I want a dad, because my mumma only loves me, she doesn't love mumma. And if I have a dad, then he will love mumma."

' "He will love mumma''- these are the words of a four year old child, my child! How and why has he gotten this idea, and all this time, he wanted a dad because of me? And not because all his friends have one?'

"Arin, baby you know what? Mumma doesn't want a Dad, all mumma wants is that Arin loves her the most! Okay?"

"Alin loves mumma the most…yes! Alin loves mumma, but Alin is a small boy. How can Alin protect his mumma?"

Arin became too happy for a moment, and the very next moment, he was lost in his deep thoughts like a philosopher straight out of ancient Greece.

"Hmm...let me think. By coming with mumma to buy an ice cream? What do you say?"

I heard my voice echoing back in my ear without my consent for the second time that day.

"Yes! Yes!"

He started throwing his hands upwards, still crouching in my lap.

I stood up, holding him and taking the keys of the car. Before leaving, I made sure to let the maids know that there will be no need for preparing dinner for both of us, as I was going to spend my entire time with my son today.

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I knew I was badly injured, and I have to transform in my human shape.

'I can't enter the civilisation in this form and in my injured state, but if they are thinking that I will not be coming back and they have succeeded in whatever they were planning to do, I really have extremely bad news for them.'

Thinking this, I shifted into my human form; and the moment I did this, I was aware that it was not a good idea. But I had already taken many bad decisions today, so adding one more to the list would not hurt me anymore.

I placed one hand on my wound on the left side of my stomach, which had started painting my favorite white shirt in shades of bright red; and tried to walk on my two legs now.

'I know that the road is just a few meters away from there, and if I somehow made it, then someone will definitely help me...or someone probably might!'

But for that, I would have to walk. And in this state, taking even one step was making me feel like I was carrying the weight of the entire world on my shoulders, but I couldn't lose courage now.

'My pack needs me...I have to survive for them...have to be strong and have to return for them.'

These were the thoughts that kept me going until I saw the road and I tried to make my pace fast. But I managed to drag myself to the middle of the road, when a strong light flashed in front of my eyes and my ears heard a thud with a piercing pain throughout my body, before everything went black.

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