And as what she expected, I'm teaching her how to play the guitar. She absolutely got no idea what she is doing but she is not that hard to teach on how to play. It's just that, teaching her everyday? Everything started to get weird.. these feelings.. how my heart and body response to her and everything... They're all weird! And it started to get me confused.
If this continue? I don't know what will gonna happen but, all I know... The result is dangerous.
The result might shock me but.. should I stop?
Do I regret it?
I keep on diving deep into my deep thoughts and the answer is always the same and clear as the crystal clear.
The answer is always no...
It always has been no...
And it will be forever no..
o, dear... does this feel dangerous?
no...
I should continue.. because if the result from all of this is what I predicted since in the beginning... I'm ready for that and will accept it thoroughly.
Even though it looks dangerous.
There's no backing up. There is no turning back.
But why after I reach the end.. everything feels so unfair?
Why should the both of us suffer like this?
Is this the payment from our past?
The unending pain? The pain that doesn't have a cure to heal it.. only she can? She is the only way but why? But that is already impossible.
Everything feels so impossible. It feels so unfair.
Everyhing feels so hardly to reach now.
But seeing her smiling face before my eyes, every pain started disapearing. But all I know starting from that day, the pain will be there forever and it will only disappear temprary.
Funny how I didn't able to say I love her. I hate myself for being late from everything. I hate it.
"Hey, I want you to listen to this." That took away my attention. I boredly looked at her as she placed the guitar on her lap.
She started strumming the guitar and as soon as she started singing the song she practiced these few weeks, I know that I already lose.
I already fell in love. And there is no way out. The love feels like a maze. I am forever trapped there and won't able to find the way out. I have to plans on getting out of there because all I can say, JOSHUA HAS FALLEN.
