AMELIA DINIZ
As soon as the cab I ordered parked directly in front of me, I swiftly opened the door and rushed in, imploring the driver to go. He simply kept asking whether I was okay and if I was wounded. I appreciate his worry, but I don't need him to be right now. I simply need him to get me far away from this location.
What have I done? It was lovely and I liked every minute and second of it, but my mother must be very disappointed with me. She is undoubtedly tossing and turning in her grave because I did a horrible thing.
It should have never happened in the first place. How will I ever live with my dumb decisions?
*** A FEW MONTHS EARLIER
What is so terrible about death? Is it the reality that individuals who die never come back, or is it how they die?
My mother passed away early this morning, yet I still haven’t cried a tear. Everyone kept on assuring me that all was fine since it was God’s will, thus it must pass. What exactly? What shall pass? What do they even mean by that? Do I just accept that my mother is deceased and go on?
Sigh.
I am extremely fuzzed by how people can be so emotional, grieving for my mother whom they have not even seen in years. I am her daughter, and I still haven’t accepted her death yet. I am starting to believe that they’ve been waiting for this day for so long, and all those tears that are being poured are crocodile tears. I do not even know most of these individuals here. Who are they?
“Amelia, why is Eithan here? Did I not tell you that I do not want to ever see that boy again? Are you two still dating when you should be focused on your studies? This is your final year in high school, and the time for boys is done. You need to be involved in your schoolwork,” My stepdad is a very severe father when it comes to guys, and my mother was always the gentler one. My mother married my stepfather. I loathed it because we were such a perfect family with my actual dad. I am really trying to comprehend what went wrong, but this is my certainty and I simply had to accept it.
“I will go and talk to him, sir. I apologize,” I say, getting up and running my hands down my dress to smooth it before I walk out of the house to meet my “risk-taker” boyfriend. As soon as I see him, I grab his hand and race outside the gate before anyone even notices us.
“Are you mad, Ethan? You know how my dad feels about you; why would you risk coming here?” I lash at him.
“I am sorry, baby, but you were not answering your phone. I heard from Georgina that your mother died, and that is probably the reason why you did not make it to school, thus, I came to give my condolences,” Georgina is my best friend from school.
“Oh, that,” I say, carelessly.
“Oh, that? You don’t sound unhappy or anything like that, Amelia; are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am fine. I simply want all of this to be finished, that is all. Come, let me bring you to the corner before my dad comes out with his belt and begins flogging both of us,” I quickly say, trying not to dwell on my mother’s death that got people shaken up.
“You still have jokes even in times like this?” He asks, tilting his head. Why is he gazing at me as if I am mad?
“Should I be crying instead?” He glances at me for a moment before he shakes his head.
“No. Uhm, I am heading to the gym, so I will contact you later?”
“Yes. Thanks for stopping by,” I smile before we indulge in a hug. His embraces are so sweet, they make me want to melt in his arms.
“Babe, you are doing it again. I am going to dump you on the floor,” He warns, jokingly.
“I can’t help it, Eithan. You offer the nicest hugs,”
“How about I give you the best kiss now?”
“Mmm, I’d like that,” I enthusiastically look up at him and wait to be kissed, so I close my eyes and pout my lip, I feel his hands leave me, and the instant I open my eyes, I see a tall man choking him.
“Amelia, go home, now,” Shit, it is my stepdad. How could he get here so fast without me ever noticing him?
“Baba,” I try to remedy the problem, but he fires daggers at me.
“Amelia, don’t make me repeat myself,” He cautions, angrily, in a forceful tone with his hand not releasing the grip of the scared Eithan.
My unfortunate boyfriend. I feel unhappy I had to leave him in such a predicament. I hope that my father does not injure him.
As soon as I arrive home, my stepfather’s family shakes their heads at me with their lips furrowed. I am tempted to ask them why they are gazing at me that way, but I decide against it and enter the home that is too busy for my liking.
I head directly to my bedroom and as I enter, I discover my two step-siblings comfortably looking through my belongings. They are both girls, one is seventeen, the same age as me, and the other one is twelve.
“What are you two doing in my bedroom through my things?” I ask, tidying up after them. My room is messed up; what are these females doing?
“Oh, we thought we should familiarize ourselves with this room because it will soon be mine. Your mother is deceased now, therefore you no longer have a home in our father’s house, step-sis,” Sandra, the older one says.
“Get out of here, both of you?” I warn them.
“Or what, Amelia? Do you forget that this is my father’s house? If I were you, I would start looking for a place to live in since my father is not looking for a burden like you in his house,” Sandra spits, making me widen my eyes in disbelief.
She is kidding, right? She did not mean to let out such remarks. Is it because my mom is gone, thus she is revealing to me her real colors? My mother is not even cold yet, yet individuals that I believed cared for me are already revealing their true colors. Did my mother not mean anything to them? My mother has given all herself to this family; was all of that for nothing?
“I seriously have no time for this, Sandra. Could you not simply wait for at least my mother’s burial before you start showing me how much less you don’t care about me?”
“Care about you? No, I simply appeared to care, honey. I genuinely detest you because you took my sparkle from my father. It was all about you in this home and how brilliant you are, and I think that you were doing it on purpose, so now that your mom is gone, I am going to make sure that you get to feel what I have been going through,”
I attempt to open my lips to say anything, but I am too bewildered to speak. I didn’t realize this was how she felt, and I honestly did not see anything wrong or do anything wrong with the intent to upset her. I assumed we both were equal to our parents
and I assumed that we both received equal affection. I thought we were great friends; what is wrong now?
