February 23, 2015

Zieym's PoV,

It's my wedding day. The day should be one of the happiest moments ever in my life. But I can't feel any excitement at this time, only I felt..... is, I'm nearly going to hell and slowly burned.

When I was young I've been dreaming that my wedding could be the most unforgettable moment of my life, because they said that it was the happiest day for a woman. But I think it will only remain in my dreams that never could be happened anymore.

I'm Zey Aims Villa Fuentez, 25 years old only daughter of merchant Amy and Zandro Villa Fuentez. I also have a younger brother but he seems older than me because of his mature character and solemn looks.

Others thought that being "I am" is so delicate because I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth but they do not know that this luxury I had is attached with so many consequences.

Yes, my parents are rich and they can able to give me everything that I need nor all I want.... but they can't give me a new heart that will make my life truly better. Yeah, I was born with a heart complication and no matter how rich we are it's still difficult to find a heart donor that will match with me.

Money cannot fulfill our being even you owned the whole world you can't control all things the way wanted them to be.

It's already eight o'clock in the morning but I'm still lying down in my bed while thinking how worthless this day is to me, b'cuz after a few hours my surname will be changed and therefore I'm not a Villa Fuentez anymore. I know that  I'm not supposed to be here because I must get ready for my wedding but I have no energy to get up.

Yeah, honestly I enormously didn't want to get married even though I'm already at the right age now, especially to someone stranger that I didn't even know who.

But I have no choice because it's my parent's command and I was born in a prestigious family that living with policies in life... so I have no choice but to follow those rules.

Knock!, Knock!, knock!

He's knocking on that door again. Tsk.

"Who's that?"

I ask him even though I know that it's Zam, my younger brother.

"It's me Zieym, can I come in?"

He's been knocking a few times since earlier in the morning but I'm just pretending that I'm still asleep.

"K, come in...... So, what kind of air brings you here at this early hours?"

He glared at me while looking directly into my eyes.

"Hey, Zieym!" He yells.

"What time is it, won't you forget that today is your  wedding?"

  "I know." My lips pouted.

A moment of silence prevailed between us before he spoke again.

  "I'm sorry!" He sincerely apologizes.

"Tch! For what? HAHA." I tried to laugh because he had become serious.

"I know that you didn't want to get married but I can't even do anything--

"Shhh... *I cut his word

You don't need to do anything Zam, I told you yesterday.... It's alright. I'm just feeling lazy today."

"No, you're not fine. Stop pretending in front of me Zieym because it's hard for me to see you being like that while I'm just doing nothing."

I stood up from my bed then I faced him.

"Hey, don't be harsh on yourself bro! You're not the one who's getting married."

I smiled at him.

"Yes, I admit that I'm not fine... and it's so difficult to pretend that I'm okay. But you know Zam it's normal, maybe our mom felt also the same way what I'm feeling right now when she's getting married to dad. Remember our parents also come from this, right? So stop worrying about me because our parents know what's best for us,   okay?"

He just deeply sighed then hug me.

"You can always lean on me ate."

"Hmm?... Did you just call me 'ate'?"

  "Yeah, I heard that to my Filipino friend calling their older sister like that. It sounds good, isn't it?"

"Yes it sounds good, I love it. You should call me 'ate' instead of Zieym, what do you think." I raised my eyebrow.

"Why not 'ate'?" He pinches my cheek.

"We have a blood of Asian because mommy La is a pure Filipino Anyway speaking of mommy La I miss her so much she doesn't visit us this year."

"I miss her too and daddy Lo. But don't worry because after the wedding we moved into the Philippines."

"Hmm?.. Why?"

"Your fiancé is a Filipino and maybe because of the business negotiation."

"Ahh... Okay. The Philippines is also our home country, it's not difficult to live there."

Mommy La

Lola

means grandma and daddy Lo

Lolo

means grandpa. That's what we call our grandparents on my father's side because my mommy La is a pure Asian while daddy Lo is half American.

  "Get yourself ready then downstairs, Jianne and Harish are waiting for you."

  "Okay. Thanks again Zam, for everything."

"Don't mention it I'm not deserving for that word."

"You always deserve my gratitude Zam because you're the best brother and bestfriend ever, I love you."  I smiled at him sweetly.

"I love you too ate." He smiled back then he went out into my room.

Zam is not just a brother to me, he's also my closest bestfriend... and my hero.

I was born with a heart complication that's why my life is full of limits....  but even though I was born with that condition I didn't even feel that the world is so unfair to me, because my brother is always by my side and he didn't let me feel that way. He sacrificed so many things just for me, he give-up some of his wants and favorites for considering that I'm not able for those things. He makes sure that I'm not alone living in a world full of limitations. I didn't ask him to do everything he did and however I told him to stop being hard on himself, he never listen and still doing the same thing. I'm so lucky to have him as my brother.

I immediately took a shower and put on simple makeup before I go downstairs.

"Howdy! Good morning." I greeted.

"It's almost an afternoon girl!" Jianne sarcastically said.

"Are you sure that you still want to get married? You seem not very well."

"Yeah, of course, everything is already settled and I have no choice either."

"Hey! Don't you forget that I'm always lining up into your choices? but you didn't even bother to choose me.*pout*" -Harish

"My goodness! This punk....." -Jianne

"Move on bro your not meant to my sister." -Zam

"I know. Stop making me realize it too much."

"These people are so insensitive." He glared.

"Gosh! I'm almost dying right now."

"Harish." I felt guilty.

"Hey! HAHA...Come on, I'm just kidding." He laughs.

Harish sounded just joking but his eyes seems serious.

"We need to go now, so stop the drama Zieym were gonna be late in her wedding preparation."

Jianne interrupted us.

[After three hours]

Everything is ready, I guess I'm the only one who isn't.

We're on our way to church... I was riding in a luxury car.... wearing a beautiful long white dress... everyone are saying that I'm stunning with it, but it's just nonsense to me i didn't even dream of all of this happeningg. Yes, I did dream about my wedding before and I can't imagine that it will end up just like this.

Is there anything that I can do to save myself? How to escape this moment?

I just deeply sighed.

"What's wrong my dear, is there something bothering you? You seem distracted." My mom asked.

"Nothing mom, I'm just feeling nervous." I smiled at her.

"Stop worrying about anything Zieym. It's for your own good and to our family, just trust me and your dad everything will be alright and it's gonna be worth it."

For my own good?... I don't think so if I'm part of that goodness that may benefit in this wedding. But, yeah! I can still truly understand, even though I'm not fine I'll still do it, for everyone's good I'll be alright. "Yes mommy I know, I understand." *nod.

After a few minutes later we arrived, at the church and my father met us.

"My gorgeous daughter is here." My dad excitedly said and he come with me quickly and kiss my cheeks.

"I can't explain how beautiful you are my dear." He smiled at me so sweetly.

"Thanks, dad." I smiled back at him then we start walking in the aisle slowly.

Every step I take is uncertain ... forced ... and really against my will. I ask this question in my mind a few thousand times just since yesterday... Do I have to do this? I can't regret all the decisions I made? ... I hope so that I am right, I just hope I didn't make a mistake.

I felt tears on the side of my cheeks.

"Can I still be Villa Fuentez dad? I don't want to change my surname."

He just laugh.

"As a father of yours I hope it too sweetheart, but it can't be."

It can be if you weren't doing this.

I felt sorry for my parents and especially for myself because I'm a liar... and I haven't the courage to tell them the truth about what truly I feel.

I saw my groom now. I can't remember if we already meet before but it's weird that his face was familiar to me. If I describe him overall... He's perfectly good-looking even at the first sight, an ideal man I think although not mine... Yeah, I'm not disappointed but still not relieve. 

Unexpectedly I remember one person which I haven't seen for a long time ago he had a promise to me but I think he'll no longer fulfill that promise.

I stopped thinking anything nonsense in my mind when we reach the end of the aisle... I think it's the longest walk that I did.

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