A brash sound pierced the stillness inside my untidy art room, as I unintendedly shoved the can paint on the floor. I watched the crimson liquid spilled smoothly, like as if enjoying whatever it is doing. And it only enraged me more to the point that whatever I was holding, I threw it on the wall and it collided, creating another series of broken sounds. Not just my glass paint-pallete was broken, customized especially for me in Serion Arts and Materials, but even of the trophy I won last summer.

　　"I'm not happy anymore!"I shrieked, echoing inside the corners of my room. It almost sounded like a wailing of a desperate man, drowning on the depths of the ocean though still struggled to live.

　　I remembered wearing the most genuine smile ever in my life that moment when I received that award. An award I got from the painting I did. It was marvelous. Even Sean was there, standing as he waved his hand at me proudly. Oh, don't expect my family. Because I had none.

　　I got to propel my feet up, ignoring my messed clothes and hair, escaping from the tie. Paints were also all over my skin and clothes, and as I took a sight of my sticky palms, it were full of abtract hue. Broken pieces of glasses were also just scattered on the floor, adding the mess.

　　For a moment, I brushed a sight of my art room and reminded how great my art was before, seeing those hanged paintings on the wall. Mostly, it comprised of art pieces of palaces, queen's and kings and their heirs. I didn't know why but since child, I loved monarchical things. Some time , when I was on the orphanage I even remembered trying to be the princess at a play but since I wasn't the most beautiful, I was instead picked as the witch.

　　I bit my lip indignantly. With a never purposed glimpse, I witnessed who I really was, reflected on the window glass. Outside, the moon hasn't shone yet it was too dark. I wondered if ever my skin would be the same. In fact, I weren't really black but my skin was tanned unlike every body in the city were.

　　To them, I was either the definition of plain woman or even almost ugly. Maybe that's why even Sean chose to leave me.

　　My tears nearly fell but I blinked it away, feeling more pain than sadness as I gazed at the woman in front of me. Thick, curly brunette hair that no one in my city patronized except for Sean, bunned lowly since I had cut it in shoulder length, paired with twinkling black eyes which wasn't attractive at all for it glints not because of glee but of sadness or anxiety. What probably was acceptable in me in this city, other than my sharp nose and plump lips that Sean loved kissing, was my soft voice, deserving of a woman as what the society said as beauty. For I was over-all having a squared jaw that made me looked mean and body of too curves.

　　In Seres City, Liby might be what beauty best defines. Popular, expressive eyes, kissable red lips, straight black hair and angelic voice. What the most alluring of her was those slender body of hers like every girl had and skin like snow. Sometimes, I even cursed who ever bore me to be what am I. To be such ugly that no one dares to lay an eye to.

　　I let my long, slender paint-stained fingers twiddled and a bitter smile flashed across my face.

　　You'll be useless from now on.

　　I ran out and banged the door, feeling a suffocating feeling as I left my canvas with nothing to contain. Maybe...maybe even the best artist could ran out of ink sometimes. And I was out of luck for before I created the master piece I wanted, I was already exhausted.

　　It's alright. It's alright, Sanya.

　　I didn't cry. Instead, I took a deep breath and grabbed my car key heading to nowhere.  There's still tomorrow. Might it be better soon than now. I wished, though never hoped.

　　My harbor of fugitiveness led me to a known bar in town. In  a bright crimson light, I read the huge letterings engraved on top of the two-floor building.

　　"Carpe Deim."

　　I strode towards the entrance without thinking of anything else but just drowning myself even for tonight.

　　"Ma'am! We only let legal aged costumers in," anxiously informed the guard, trying to held me up that made me roll my eyes.

　　"I've turned legal three summer ago, Mister!" I snapped, annoyed that even some costumers who were heading inside pivoted their necks towards me, trying to pry. I couldn't be bother right now and to paid even a bit my attention to them was least my concern. I did not need to look back in order to know whether the gaurd had let me passed through, sensing no one was following me anymore.

　　This had been what irritated me yet again for numerous times. I didn't know why but many people had mistaken me for a minor, not that I was short or my face was what they called 'baby face'. I grunted inside, gruesomely.

　　Maybe that gaurd just didn't want an ugly creature festering the bar. I balled my fist and felt the dried paint on it. Still, I ignored knowing no one will ever notice it. I hadn't even had one single second of someone paying attention to me, other than Sean and when I won the award of being the best painter though I'm sure, it's my art piece that caught their attention and not exactly me.

　　The bar was crowded in the first floor so I climbed to the second floor and had released a sigh when I spotted few people yet. Maybe because the night had only started and for what I knew, places like this were crowded in midnight.

　　It's better then. I could have time for myself.

　　I seated at the counter and immediately, one of the bartender attended me.

　　"Drink?" he grumbled, probably because he didn't want to serve an ugly me or he's just having a bad day like me. Either way, I was least my concern now that I threw him a glance before saying what I had decided to drink the moment I entered here.

　　"Anything hard."

　　He nodded then gone to grant my wish as I chose to turn around too and observed the whole place. Though it wasn't my first time entering a bar, since Sean had brought me here in countable times, in other bars and once in here. Though the fact that I locked myself inside my unit for weeks alienated me from these usual surroundings.

　　The environment in here was so different from my art room. I heard many quips before in my workplace how great Carpe Deim was. They said that it was beautiful and with the good drink and attractive bands playing, it was the best in the city. However, as I see it now, all I could say was that it was nostalgic. It had an ambience of Middle Ages era with the old yet descriptive furnitures and even the wall paintings. Even the interior design does intrigued me, wondering who ever had done such work. Unsurprisingly, the smell of liquour dominates inside but I was smelling something odd too. It wasn't bad though something like this wasn't supposed to be here. Like a smell of...burning mint?

　　The strum of guitar caught my attention and instantly, I wandered my eyes around to find the usual band playing on the stage. Yet something felts different this time. When I meandered my eyes on the band, I was almost surprised when it met an eyes belonged to the new vocalist, standing still without any emotion as he eyed me.

　　But was it really me? I looked beside me though except for the busy bartenders behind me, no single soul was on the counter except me.

　　I was conscious for a second, knowing he was looking at me at such cold yet alluringly jet black eyes so I pretended scrutinising his bandmates. However, it didn't even lasted even half a minute for the way he looked at me was highly disturbing. Like as if a magical enchantment was telling me to look at him.

　　I did though with squinting eyes this time but a surprise flashed across my face when I saw him somewhat mad. Still eyes on me, I raised a brow at him.

　　Who was he to look at me like that?

　　I was never been sure before than right now that this man never crossed my life than tonight. And the fact that he's looking at me like that...