I tightened my grip on the book I was carrying while going to school, I had been here a few times since I was in elementary school. And it's scary when you come here every day.
I entered our classroom, my 7-DG, the teacher's name was just shortcuts.
"H-hello," said the one next to me.
I smiled, I didn't know any of my classmates, some were from other schools. In Aponit, Talang, and Bani. Parts of Pangasinan.
"Hello." She also opened a book that she had taken from the school library.
"I'm from Aponit. Are you here?" she asked.
I nodded. Since kindergarten is here I am. I was not born here but I grew up here, with my grandmother and grandfather.
Mama and papa are in Cavite to work so that I can study. I should be studying there now but it will be difficult for me to adjust there because I only work for half a day, it would be okay but there is not enough time for each subject. And mom doesn't want to.
"Yes," I replied.
She adjusted her uniform and put on her ID, because it was posted on the gate 'no id, no entry' my grandmother told me that there used to be no such thing as long as I could enter. Salinas National High School is only public but the guard is strict, you can't enter without an ID.
"You don't know any of our classmates? You didn't have a classmate here before?" she asked in succession.
I shook my head and looked at the people I knew when I was in elementary school one by one but we weren't close. I prefer to study when I'm in elementary. I have a friend but I'm not very close, it's like they're just accompanying me for the reason that they know if all they need is talent, they only need my brain.
“There are all plastic people here,” I said.
The plastic then toxic, make fun of your neighbors but e-chi-this miss you like this, you are like that. I grew up in a place full of judgmental people. but also because of those toxic ones I went on to study hard to prove to them that they're all wrong that I'm not a normal child, I grew up far away from my parents but I have grandma and grandpa that I raised well because that's what's right for them and good for me. There are just really insecure people who force you down but they have no contribution to your life. And they got nothing.
"Like that?" she asked.
I nodded, I don't want to be linked again to the thought that if you consider me a friend but it's not, judge me if that's what you want but just want to be secured in my feelings, once I treated you as my friend I'll give it to you anything because I was different from those who became my friends. I still remember when I was in grade 5, exam that day and I was teased by my friend who now left when she finished betraying me.
I imitated her but when it was too late I was the one who insisted, they didn't accept my exam then because I allegedly copied it because they said they knew Jesiah was smart and didn't need to imitate.
I'm not saying that I judge the person next to me right away, but that can't be lost on someone who has experienced how to have a treacherous friend.
I looked at our school watch ten minutes before ma'am's school time so I went to cr first, I waited for the end before entering cr. The lock and faucet of the cr are in good condition and not broken yet, this school was just renovated last year. I'm still in grade 6 at that time.
I washed my hands first before getting out of the restroom and going back to my seat, someone was sitting there and gossiping next to me earlier, I hate talking to someone and then she/he doesn't know like they're backstabbing that someone.
"Oh, sorry." She left my seat and I sat there.
What her name again? did she say? I don't know, I don't know her name and I'm not interested.
"What's your name?" she asked.
“Katana Natalie Vegas,” I said.
"Vivian Jiminez." She took my hand and shook hands with me.
I also snatched it from her right away, I didn't talk to anyone before even now I don't want to take it to Jesiah who I turned over because she was capable and they were able to cover up. While I? I've already imitated I've been bad.
"I'm sorry I'm feeling too close," she said.
"It's OK." Even deep inside I want to say yes but I'm not like that.
Our noisy classmates fell silent as a beautiful woman who was a bit small entered. She was thin and wearing a teacher's uniform.
We all stood up and greeted him. "Good morning, ma'am." Ma'am smiled at us.
"I'm ma'am Diana De Guzman, I'm your teacher in Filipino and also I'm your adviser. Good morning class."
She made us sit down while she took something from the envelope she was carrying. And when she saw something she took it and gave it to me one by one. She smiled at me.
“That will raise your grades,” she said.
She gave me my card when I was only in grade 6, grandma and grandpa are proud that I got these high grades. Because when the issue of my imitation of Jesiah was allegedly issued, they just judged me immediately.
"Ma'am, that wasn't smart, it just happened to Jesiah before," said one of my classmates.
"Huh? How did you know? You judge her right away because of that? Let her give her another chance to prove herself." Ma'am smiled at me and went back to her table.
Somehow I was relieved, she's the one and only teacher who didn't judge me immediately. Maybe like me, her parents raised her well.
Maybe, this is the time to prove myself to others that I don't fit in with the smart because I have a brain.
The next day. I went in and it was still perfect. Some students are bullying me but I no longer pay attention. And Vivian Jimenez? She always stays by my side even though I rarely answer her questions.
One week from the start of the class. Study and then go home immediately. I am now sitting in the chair while ma'am discusses what we will do.
"Okay! This is what you want guys to do so you can have a partner. Just two! Let's play hide and seek and then whoever you find is your partner." My classmates shouted happily.
The others are still talking for them to be partners. Ma'am sneezed to get their attention, ma'am smiled.
"You're still really talking, you're still not going to be a partner if I assign where you're going to hide," she said.
Ma'am laughed because the faces of those who were planning about where to hide could not be painted.
"Katana Natalie Vegas." I approached ma'am.
She pointed my name and on the side was written where I would hide. I left and went back to my seat and was silent while calling my comrades if they would also hide because they were split. 30 of us so 15 will hide and 15 will search.
"Come on and we'll be there," said ma'am.
The high school is small and the elementary field is wider. The high school is full of cement while the elementary school has a wide field for the children to play.
I missed watching my batch mate playing in our field. I miss it.
Ma'am flickered in the air and grabbed our attention. I'm behind not because I'm tall but because I don't want anyone behind me.
"Don't take the handkerchief off your eyes guys," ma'am said to the stakes.
They nodded and at the same time said 'copy ma'am!' Ma'am sent us away one by one to hide, I went to the 4th floor of the senior high and peeked at the chin. One by one ma'am also allowed the handkerchiefs to be removed from the eyes of the stakes and let them search. I sat in a chair outside, senior highs are out of work today and I don’t know why.
I peeked down again and was talking to ma'am who is also a teacher, I was surprised when someone stood next to me, I didn't know him and we weren't close.
He also looked down and peeked at my other classmates who were already downstairs and happily found their partner, why does no one seem to be looking for me? It's also approved for me so I don't have a problem if my partner can't do what needs to be done and at least so if I do it alone the activities will be given by partners.
I was worried when I was young that I was always fighting maybe because I didn't have my mom and dad to go to a family event at school, I was bullied because I didn't have parents, grandpa was like that but grandma always explained to me why I always don’t have mama and papa, because working for my future. I don't have any anger but the contribution in my heart is still accumulating.
"What are you doing here?"
I just looked at the one who said, he's not familiar to me, maybe from another school? I snorted because I didn't want to talk to someone I didn't know.
"Hiding," I replied.
"Uh-huh." I looked at him too because of his response.
He smiled, his hair was thick and it was waxed. He looked at me and frowned at me.
“Seek,” he said.
To my surprise, I couldn't react to what he did, did he pierce my cheek with his finger.
"Hey," he tapped me on the shoulder.
I backed away because he was too close. He laughed before we came down because we were the only ones left.
"Seek, you can easily find." I didn't speak as we went downstairs together.
