FLASHBACK

Footsteps. 

Loud footsteps.

I panicked.

I curled into a ball in the dark closet, my heartbeat was loud enough to give my spot away. Tears poured down my eyes as fear caressed me. The footsteps only got louder and closer,  I had always feared the sound of shoes assaulting the ground, It held so much mystery and misery, sometimes I would close my eyes and slam my hands to my ears — cause I dreaded the sound, whenever it was 7:00 pm, it always got loud cause then — he was back.

After the sound died down, I relaxed a bit before slowly moving towards the small hole in the closet, I had to make sure he was gone, I needed to eat, I was starving.  He hadn't fed me, cause I didn't pass yesterday's test, how exactly does one do a nude photoshoot comfortably? how? 

I had been so engrossed in my thoughts that I barely noticed the sounds getting louder...closer...

“Got you!” a grim voice yelled

END OF FLASHBACK

********

          I tightened my eyes as I swayed my hips, lap dancing. I had to admit that I was really pretty, I had grey eyes and long wavy blonde hair, Curvy hips, and long legs, Many people made it their obligation to inform me that I was identical to my mother — That weak woman,  She was incompetent — that's why I hated her, the only good thing she gave me was her looks, thankfully Alfred didn't live long enough to allow her to pass on more traits to me.

I  held on to the pole tightly, my fingers were clenched around the poll. I  scanned the room over and over again — He wasn't here yet. He was late. I tore my gaze from the countless pairs of eyes which were shamelessly casting lustful stares at me, For some reason, men seemed to be crazy about me, They were pretty stupid and gullible if you ask me, cause I was sure I would never pay 10,000$ to watch someone shake her body while holding a pole.

   No, this isn't one of those stories where the girl had no choice but to do the things she did, or that she was weak and was dragged into it, This was business, the kind of business I derived pleasure from. A simple exchange of interests, They were interested in my body and I was interested in their life.

I don't like to think of murder as a crime or a bad thing if it's done to kill someone who had ruined the lives of so many women, besides, I am ridding society of a monster, they should be thanking me. I am doing the work that they never had the balls to do.

I flashed the crowed a small smile to rile them up, I was wearing a black underwear with black net legging, A tiny shirt was over my chest as I danced on the small stool, the spotlights were not the only thing on me, but so many perverted eyes, it was always fun to do this, it was like showing a kid ice-cream, just to take it away from him,  I laughed at the thought, I was pretty sure they had paid a fortune to see me and another fortune to spend a night, little did they know, the person I was going to spend my night with — hadn't even arrived.

           The loud music drowned the loud thoughts that invaded my mind. Tears threatened to fill my eyes but I bit my lip to stop them. Thankfully, my mask wouldn't let anyone notice anything. I could feel it again, the panic, I couldn't breathe, oh no. I tightened my fist and a tear fell down my cheek.

'I'm not weak' I thought

FLASHBACK

“I love you so much my love” Alfred whispered in my ear.

“Then why are you hurting me?” I asked through the gag though it came out muffled.

“Because this is what you deserve, this is my way of showing you love, the world — the world is dangerous, even more, dangerous than me, your mom couldn't take it and I don't want the same for you!” He yelled.

“Is that why you killed her?”

END OF FLASHBACK

I was excited and bloodthirsty. The mere thought that a few hours from now I would have my next victim in front of me, filled me with so much joy, the pleasure pumped underneath my skin, I couldn't wait!

He needed to be here right now! I needed to cut him open now! Alfred always said you need to be as patient as a wild animal waiting for their target, but never like a dog, or you would always get leftovers.

     I've never been the patient one though

If I wanted something— I would get it and if I couldn't get it— I would destroy it.  that was how I was and I wasn't willing to change for anyone.

Yes, yes  I am toxic, my only toxic trait though is that I take two and two and believe whatever I come up with, after all, people lie anyways, I'm not about to spend my whole life either waiting for them to tell the truth or believing their lies.

    A small smile spread across my face, and even through my mask, anyone could see that I was happy — just not for whatever reason they had in mind. The scent of blood clouded my nostrils, oh, I was bleeding, I had bit my lip too hard, that was a shame, here I was thinking that the only scent I would smell tonight was his blood and he wasn't even here yet! why are people so incompetent?

      A frown spread across my face, I couldn't help but wonder what was taking him so long? he should have been there already, even before I got on stage, I had gone through all the props to dress up to seduce him and the pervert wasn't even here yet. If Alfred was alive, he would be applauding me.

      He was never proud of me, I tried and tried and tried to please him, but I was never enough.

         Truth is, you can never be enough for certain people, especially not the ones who feel the need to project their insecurities through you.

     Alfred always knew what to say how to say it and when. He was always there, Ever ready to whisper in my ears the most demeaning words whenever I tried to get better, he would remind me that the world would always be cruel, so what was the reason to go to school if I could be with him all day and learn about the life?

    Alfred believed that school had nothing to offer me, but I would always differ. That was the reason for our many arguments and one of the reasons why I have a knife scar on my waist, he had been so angry that day — completely enraged.

     It was the day it had murdered Malissa, my mother, he was filled with so much sorrow and I had always wanted to ask him why? why did he kill her if he never wanted to? if it was going to hurt him this much?

That didn't matter more. Alfred was dead now, water under the bridge.

Sadly his peers were still alive and I needed to get rid of them very soon. I sighed as I stepped down from the stage. The crowd made displeased noises as I shrugged and walked away from the room, each man reached out his hands to try and touch me— disgusting!

They all wanted to feel me up and rumors were some were willing to pay a fortune just to be in a room with me — to be able to stare at me.

Alfred would be so proud.

   I was the monster he created after all, but society finished up the job so well, and there I was repaying the favor, once I was out of earshot and in another section of the bar, the sound of footsteps filled my ears and before I could register it properly—I bumped into someone.