One sad morning for my family. It has been two days since our grandmother funeral. Still it feels sad, all of us together with our parents are still silent infront of our breakfast. No one wants to break the silence and you will see in their eyes the sadness that they are feeling.
Back before we are used to see grandma already sitting on the table reading newspaper and greeting us good morning, but everything seems so new and different. After a minute Dad suddenly spoke up.
"I know it is sad to lost your beloved grandma, I know it is hard but please don't be so down. She is happy where she is right now so put down those sad faces okay? Mother might get angry to all of you if act like. She might scare you later especially you Davin." he said and suddenly look at my younger brother and he smiled. But I know inside him he is crying because they are close with grandma.
"That's correct, so please eat your food past, we are going to clean grandma's room later." Mom announced that's why i tried to change my mood and ate my food.
After we ate, i claened the table and wash the dishes while Mom and Davin was in the garden to water the plants. As washing the dishes, i suddenly cried out nowhere. I remember back when I was young she is the one who taught me to wash dishes and she tell me that back their time they used to fetch water from the well just to wash dishes, and take a bath. Its just a happy memory with grandma. Every single moment with her is a treasure for me.
She is the one who understands me, helping to stand whenever I fall down. Quickly I wiped up my tears and continue what I am doing but my tears can't stop. And then breath deeply and try to hide what I am feeling.
After finished my task I go to living room to rest for a minute and after that we then started to clean Grandma's room. There my brother Davin startes to put all grandma's book in the box while Mom is fixing her clothes from her cabinet to the box. My task is to sweep the floor and as I sweep near our Grandma's bed, the memory then again popped up. Sometimes back then when she is alive, we always sleep together in her bed with Davin including Laudre. Sometimes we used to run over her room. But yet let's go back to reality the she's gone, my grandma has passed away. Why do everything I saw reminds me of him?
After I finished sweeping the floor I help them to clean grandma's stuff from her cabinet bed and all. So I started in her vanity mirror. Her vanity mirror has two boxes on the right side. As i opened them one by one. I saw her collection of coin purses from different places, her earrings and different accessories. On next box was her knitting tools and yarns for crochet since she is fund knitting and making us clothes and sleeves and I took them one by one and my narrowed to get the things in the box. I feel that there seem a very small space on the box, I thought that the wood has broken because it has a broken or scratch pieces of wood under it. I tried to push it up and the tablet of wood has lifted. There i found out a cloth that has a book inside.
Quickly, I called Mom to ask if she know these book but she said no. So I opened the small book and there was piece of letter that stuck on it. And I quickly read it and here it is written.
Dear My Beloved
Maybe as time you read this I am gone. But don't worry I am fine wherever I am. I will miss you too but I really need to rest. Don't be sad my dear, I will still always here looking and guiding for you all. I just want to say my last reguest for my one and only daughter Deighty and to your Husband whom I also treated as my own son Gasier please take care of your family, take care of my beloved children. Avoid too much conflicts for the peace of your family. I will miss you my daughter.
As I read it my mind becomes blank and it like everything has stop.
For my 2 grandchildren, Davin my cute grand son. I know you are too young when I left you but always think grandma is always here for you. Always listen to your parents and sister. I am still rooting for you, hoping for you to become a professional one someday. Don't be sad baby boy I just left for a long trip.
To my Dosie my favourite grand daughter. I know you are sad that I am gone. Just keep reaching your dreams. I saw you growth eversince you were born together with Davin. I witness you growing from a naughty little girl from a beautiful teen ager. I know every detail of your character, I know you are a good woman. I know your cries and heart breaks. Hoping and I know that you will pass all those aches so chin up my girl.
I started to wrote this book as a diary for my grand children. Starting at your first year, your first crawl. The times of you with your childhood friend Laudre. I wrote this because I know ever since our family and Laudre's family you two are meant to be. I will love to see you two marry together. On the other side it is not about you two but also for Davin, every detail of your years are written here.
Read this book not for you to be sad. Make this as my farewell gift to you all. This is the time where I reminisce all the happy moments that I spend with you my Grand children. I LOVE YOU!
Love, Grandma
After I read the letter I burst into tears. I felt guilty, knowing the pain when I broke up with Laudre and my grandmother's lost. It seem to be a mixed but there is no happiness. I don't know that grandma is looking and rooting for us. I'am sad that It will never be happen, but I may be lying if I said that I don't love him.
Unknowingly my Mom and Davin are at my back also reading the letter, suddenly I put back the letter in the book and ran unto the veranda crying. As I look around grandma's garden where there are many types of flower everywhere. I continued crying while holding my head acting like I am dissapointed.
"I am sorry grandma, we didn't make it." I suddenly spoke out of nowhere apologizing to her.
Maybe grandma knows almost all about me, but one thing she cannot know. I have cheated Laudre that's why we broke up. I felt down at this time.
"Grandma sorry, sorry, sorry" I said repeatedly while sobbing.
"I hope you will understand me, I am the one who cheated but I can't help it. I loved them both hence I chose Ruther over him."
"But definitely I chose a wrong person" I continued.
After that I got silenced, my mind stops. I don't know what I do. I'm sobbing crying, and it feels so cold and creepy around me.
"Dosie?" Mom called me and l look at her.
She comes to me while holding the book.
"Do you want to read it?" she said and hugged me.
"Mom I don't think I can." I replied.
"You can do it my dear." she said while we are still hugging each other.
"I can't Mom, I might miss grandma even more"
"But it can help you to lessen what you're feeling."
"Is that the real reason?" she added and quickly I parted on her arms.
"M-Mom?"
"I know..."
"W-what do you know?"
"That you and Laudre broke up..."
"But h-how do you know?"
"His Mom called me before he flew to Korea"
"What? Korea? I-I can't understand.."
"The last time we met on the cafe to have a cofee. She told me that he will go to Korea to his dream profession there. I was shocked and I asked why he didn't come to told us. That's the time that I knew that you two broke up"
" What? Laudre is going to Korea?"
"Yes my dear, he plans to continue his college there"
"But why didn't he told me?" I left thinking while crying.
"I don't know."
"But we are in good terms after we broke up. I taught he was busy with his study that's why he can't visit. Why?"
"Maybe he doesn't want to tell you"
"W-why?"
"I taught you already knew it because you talk once in a while with his Mom"
"No she didn't told me"
"Oh my gosh! When was his flight, I will got to their house" I added and acting to fix myself to leave.
"Dear, just let him go."
"But Mom, he is still my best friend"
"Let's just respect his decision, there is a reason why he don't want to told you"
I left to wonder what's this feelings?
"What can you do? Are you going to read it?" Mom said while giving me the bool smiling. I get it nervously and Mom go back to grandma's room and stayed at the veranda.
'I am left with none grandma. I thaught Laudre will going to comfort me at this time but he also left' I said to my self.
'This killing me, how do i read this book?' asking my self while looking at it.
I go to my room and thinking, will I read this? Or not?. I close my eyes slowly and after a moment my eyes quickly opened my eyes get the book.
I opened the book and I read the first page.
